r/CatholicDating

So I 18F just started my freshman year of college in August and have ended up meeting this absolutely amazing guy and we have been dating for almost a month now. There had been hints here or there where I had wondered what religion he is as I had mentioned a few different times due to conversation topics that I am Catholic and so finally while we were out the other night at dinner the conversation shifted just right to where I could ask to which he told me he was not raised in a religion, essentially in a household that is a "we want you to figure out what you believe for yourself" and he apparently has reasons he did not share for why he just doesn't believe in anything period. He said his father is Catholic so he is definitely familiar with some aspects of the religion and despite being barely 4 weeks of dating said he would never be opposed if we got married and had kids in the future to me raising them Catholic.

Obviously I have a lot of respect towards him and his beliefs and everything, however would also like to maybe just slowly introduce him towards the church. I try to go to our campus Newmann center for mass as often as I am able and so I was thinking of waiting a few weeks after the conversation and then bringing up whether or not he would ever be open to coming with me to mass, see the response from there and go from there?

I just wanted to post about this on here in case anyone has ever gone through something similar and been successful in it. Any advice, stories, etc helps! Thank you in advance!

I’ve noticed that CatholicMatch has this feature where you can message someone without needing a match. Is it expected of you to not like someone’s profile, and just dm them immediately? I’m pretty thoroughly confused by this whole thing.

​I (22F) live in Poland. The problem is that in Poland there are many more young Catholic women than young Catholic men. I would prefer to meet my future husband in real life and not via the internet (I eventually would try Catholic dating apps after my 25th birthday, because I know that there are only older men on Polish Catholic dating apps and I really would like to marry someone who is my peer).

​I know that in order to meet a young Catholic man I have to participate in meetings for young Catholics, but the problem is that there are very few Catholic men at such meetings, and I am too shy to ask first; I am really afraid of being rejected. And I know that probably no man will approach me, because nobody ever approaches me. I heard once on a Catholic Facebook group that only ugly women aren't approached. Sometimes when I feel really bad I believe that I am just ugly, but normally I think that my face is quite pretty. Maybe it is because I don't wear make-up, though I really wouldn't like to start wearing it. I am also a little bit overweight (I plan to lose weight) and I don't dress like a typical Gen Z woman. Also, I have been told more than once that I look like a teenage girl.

Anyone from the Boston area or surrounding areas, how is the Catholic Scene? Is the diocese more conservative? Are there a lot of events going on within the Catholic community? Thanks.

Anyone here from Houston involved in the Catholic young adult scene? What parish would you recommend. I’m a 23m looking to date a Catholic woman and get involved in a parish community.

Heyyo! I'm a 28F into carpentry(it's my job now!), computers, video games/animation and have always been just all-around... Masculine? I've always preferred wearing my hair short, not wearing makeup and felt most comfortable in baggier clothes, as I've always been a bit modest about "showing curves".

My last relationship, as much as I'm trying to be positive moving forward, has left me with some baggage I've been having issues letting go. Probably because he's been the only man who's showed even the slightest interest in me after 10+ years of being single.

He told me that BECAUSE of everything that I do, that I "chase guys away" and "I look like a [slur]". That if I ever want to be attractive to a man, even a Catholic one, I need to dress... Tighter. More feminine. Like, permanently.

I don't want to be someone I'm not. I don't look good with long hair, I don't feel comfortable wearing makeup, and I've tried the whole "girly girl" schtick, but it just looks like a costume on me. I can't change who I am, and I'm getting kinda torn down over it. I understand that guys in general are attracted to women that don't dress like a hobo(I'd like to believe I'm not THAT bad, lol), but is it really to that extent, that if I wear cargoes, everyone assumes that I'm not straight/Catholic?

I see the kinds of girls guys go for, and I'm anything but that. But, I have a deeply loving heart, a passion for Christ's teachings, and a love for generally everyone and every THING God has created on this earth. I'm just kinda confused as to why I'm getting such bad attention, whenever someone DOES approach me.

I guess I wanna hear from you guys. Do I have a chance at finding a virtuous gentleman? Or am I just not built for him?

***

EDIT : Thank you guys so much for your feedback. Despite this being a recent mishap in my dating life, this has actually been a long-standing point of insecurity for me from the beginning. Hearing that I have a chance out there, that I'm not doomed to singleness because I don't fit the mold of a "traditional looking" woman(or even because of my neurodivergence!), makes me happy beyond words. I could cry.

Thank you all for your time, and I sincerely wish you all the best. May God bless you all, as you've blessed me with your kind words. I feel like I can finally move forward in my life and let my insecurities, as well as what my ex told me, behind.

Genuinely. God bless you all, and anyone reading this who may have felt the same as I have.
You may be different, but you're made exactly as God wants you to be. We'll all get our happy ending, just in His time. Have faith. Stay strong. Let the light of God's love continue to shine through your actions, just as you all have for me tonight <3

Genuine question, and I’m really not trying to brag or imply that there’s anything wrong with having different preferences. I’m in medical school, pretty career-driven, and I’d consider myself intellectual and someone who really enjoys learning.
In my experience, I’ve had guys seem interested at first and then lose interest pretty quickly once they get to know me. I’m not assuming that’s because of my career or personality, but it has made me curious.
I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s totally okay. I’m just wondering if there are guys out there who genuinely like having a partner who is ambitious, intellectual, and really passionate about what she does?

Edit: I’d also be interested in hearing different perspectives on why you do or don’t find these qualities attractive in a partner. I’m genuinely curious about how people view ambition and intellectual compatibility in relationships, and there’s no judgment either way.

So there's this girl (~22, same age as me; ), and we've known each other about a year. We both go to the same college, and met through a theatre club. Over that time she's always been pretty friendly, always making a point to come and say hi (probably because I'm often sitting reading quietly in a corner). This semester we're in a class together, and I feel like she's gotten more friendly? A couple weeks ago I was sitting in the hallway waiting for a different class to start, she sat down and started talking about an upcoming assignment, then when we both had to go to our classes she ended it saying "I'm really excited we're in the same class this year! This is gonna be so fun!"

That alone was enough to make me wonder, but I didn't want to do anything about it until last night when I saw her again at Night Prayer (which we have running in my dorm hall every night). Usually it's a small group of 5-8 guys, but for some reason she showed up. Afterwards I was about to go watch a movie with some guys, but she started asking me if I was going to join the play done by the theatre club, kept saying "you should really do it," and just general comments that made it seem like she wanted a longer conversation (which I didn't realize until 2:00 this morning when I thought more about what happened).

Basically, I've never really dated, and definitely never had a girl show interest in me before. Could this be her trying to flirt, or am I reading too much into it?

35M in DC; I have never seriously pursued relationships and have basically no experience. I unfortunately do not have many family members/friends I can talk to about this given the specifics of their own relationships. Some but not all of them are Catholic.

I feel like I have a good sense of my strengths: commitment to the faith, sense of humor, intelligence (intellectual and emotional), okay income (~$400k).

But I also recognize my shortcomings. Both literally (I am ~5'5", which does not bother me but is obviously not super attractive to a ton of women) and figuratively (I struggle to some extent with self-esteem and probably come across as not at all masculine/in the friend zone/gay--seriously; some people have been surprised that I am straight). That's on me, obviously.

I am definitely dating for marriage, but most Catholic people have married by my age, or at least it seems that way.

Thanks for any prayers, suggestions, or perspectives!

M22

Its frustrating, really. I try to surround myself around catholics, but even most of them don't follow it through... Luckily I'm finding myself in a group of friends that actually wants to try... Sometimes...

Sometimes I realize I lack forgiviness and am kinda egotistic about purity, like, wow, congratulations, I do the bare minimum and they don't, I'm holier then them! Nah, I'm pretty pathetic. Sometimes I feel sad about feeling it. And sometimes I want desperatily to stop trying to wait til marriage.

And the dating market... It's depressing. I dated once. We broke up 11 months ago. It was good, but, we were not really compatible and it was not making any good for any of us. The only thing that got us together for some years was this: catholic and waiting till marriage. But there were problems

And trying to find another catholic woman who also live this virtue is tiresome. As an autistic guy myself, I simply CANNOT endure the whole flirting game. It’s all very ambiguous, lots of insinuation without ever really being direct about what is wanted. AND THAT IS SO EXHAUSTING! I don't understand body language and how they demonstrate that they are interested to me. These flirting games are stressful, it requires a lot of cognitive attention which causes ansiety. It's a shitty scenario.

And to avoid people from other religions and women that don't want to wait till marriage... That's the easier part at least...

And you would think that in a nation like Brazil, which has the largest Catholic population in absolute numbers, things would be relatively good... Yet only 8% of these Catholics attend Mass every Sunday, not counting those who attend but aren't truly Catholic or those who have no desire to practice chastity. What can one expect from a country where the pre-Lenten season is defined by Carnival?

Just a little vent.

So I am a recent convert and my conversion is the reason I came from a happy relationship into being single. My previous partner (28F) did not want to go through an annulment process and didn’t feel that they would want to raise their children in the Catholic faith. I fearfully doubled down and the relationship had to end. I held onto hope but she ended being the one cutting the ties.

It’s been several months and as for someone who works from home and goes to my local parish a few times a week (also started OCIA), I can’t see myself meeting anyone that way. The Catholic dating apps seem to feel like a scam too and haven’t really been working. I won’t pay for a subscription for a dating app because the dating life for a male (31) is getting tough.

I feel lost and I won’t lie that I do have moments of regret but I try to hold it through my emotional distress and trust in the Lord. I was wondering if there was anyone here that could have any advice? I have a personal idea that I might end up becoming a priest if I cannot find someone after a certain point in time. I don’t feel I have the gift of chastity and it’s a struggle in of itself. I want to become a father of a family and raise children to love and follow God, but I feel like if I can’t have children of my own, I’d want to guide children to God and love them as someone within the priesthood.

Hope someone can have some input on this. Thank you and God bless everyone who reads this.

I'm a convert to the Faith in my late 20s. (from Islam) I'm very well versed in the Classics and love philosophy, literature, theology, etc. I'm visually impaired. I've also struggled with mental health stuff due to extreme verbal/emotional abuse from my family.

Due to my mental health diagnosis, most of the traditional/serious religious orders won't even talk to me (despite the fact I've been stable for 6+ years since my diagnosis with no incidents) I'd really like to get married but my experience on sites like CatholicMatch has been awful. (I rely almost entirely on online methods to try and find a spouse because with a visual impairment, its hard for me to tell if a woman is attracted to me in person or not- I don't want to ask a girl out just to find out that there was zero attraction) I've had 3 different women on CatholicMatch tell me they don't want to talk to me because they don't want mental health issues passed down to kids.(even though the chance of that happening is slim.

How can I find a Catholic woman with similar interests ( in Classics and the humanities) who isn’t a bigot?