u/HoneybunsandRoseTea

I’m feeling incredibly embarrassed. I started talking to someone yesterday who honestly seems so perfect so far. He’s waiting for marriage and we seem really aligned when it comes to things like children, politics, and our values. We were talking on a video call and realized we have a lot of hobbies in common, so I kept saying things like “well if you teach me x, I’ll teach you x.” Later he basically said he doesn’t want to rush anything and wants to make sure we’re compatible as friends first.
Logically, I know that makes complete sense, but I’m so embarrassed and shy now because I feel like maybe I came across like I was already trying to rush into a relationship. I even apologized and said, “I’m sorry if I made you think I was trying to rush a relationship.” I know my anxiety is probably getting the best of me because we’re still planning to meet in person for the first time this week, but now I’m so nervous.
How do I balance genuinely already thinking he’s really cool and being excited to get to know him without coming across as naive or like I’m trying to rush things? Btw, for context, he’s almost a decade older than me.

Also our first in person meeting is during mass/dinner on Sunday

How am I supposed to keep trusting God when it seems like every man I meet who claims to be “Catholic” eventually wants sex before marriage? What’s the point of calling yourself Catholic if you don’t actually subscribe to something as fundamental as chastity?
I’m extremely upfront that I’m reserving intimacy for marriage. It’s literally in my bio. Yet I’ll talk to someone for weeks, get invested, and eventually hear some version of “I’m too sexual for you.” I’m honestly starting to wonder if some Catholic men see a woman wanting to remain chaste as some kind of kink or fetish instead of a serious religious conviction, and that’s fucking disgusting to me. I have sexual trauma, which makes this even worse. I’m genuinely trying to follow God, live chastely, and become a saint, not have something sacred to me sexualized.
It’s making me resent men, and I don’t want that resentment becoming hatred. And please, I’m not looking for “you’re putting men above God,” therapy, or “just stop dating.” I’ve done therapy and psychiatry for years. I’m in my mid twenties and genuinely want marriage and children.
How do I remain committed to chastity, trust God, and not become bitter toward men when I keep encountering this, even with Catholic men?

I’ve been opening with “Hello! How are you?” because I genuinely don’t know what else I’m supposed to say on dating apps like CatholicMatch, Bumble, and Hinge. My profile is popping off, I’m getting plenty of matches/likes, and yet somehow I’m STILL the one taking the initiative and messaging first… just for literally 99% of these men to not respond at all.
Like seriously, where are all these “alpha,” masculine men who say they want a woman who’s serious about her faith, dating intentionally, and actually wants marriage? Because I’m literally handing you the opening. I already made the first move! All you have to do is respond and show that you actually want to get to know me.
Men will talk all day about wanting traditional women, femininity, marriage, family, etc., but then when a woman who genuinely wants those things shows up AND messages first, it’s crickets. I’m not asking you to sweep me off my feet in the first message. Just respond and take it from there. Where is all this masculine initiative everyone keeps talking about? Y’all are NOT showing out when called upon 😭
Also, please don’t respond to this with “I’ll date you” or “give me a chance.” I’m specifically looking to date someone local to my area. And that’s not me saying I’m some career woman who would never relocate or that my career comes before marriage. I’m just pretty landlocked where I am right now because of work and my current life circumstances, so realistically I need to date locally. This is a rant/cry for advice, not a Reddit personals ad.

I’m looking for advice on what my next steps should be. On July 30, 2026, around 10:29 AM, a DoorDash driver came to deliver my order and scan my ID. While scanning it, he repeatedly got into my personal space even though the hallway was open. I backed away about three times and told him, “too close,” but he continued moving toward me, and his arm repeatedly made contact with my breast approximately 4 to 6 times. He was standing so close he was almost inside my apartment. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any witnesses, and my Ring camera had died before the delivery, so there is no video of the incident. I immediately reported what happened to DoorDash, and they told me over the phone they would cooperate if I decided to file a police report, but they didn’t mention any refund or compensation. I believe the contact was intentional, and as someone with a history of prior sexual abuse, this has been extremely traumatic. I’ve already contacted Morgan & Morgan and Dan Newlin, and both declined to take the case. I’m wondering what my options are now. Should I file a police report, continue looking for a civil attorney, or is there another route I should be taking?

I’m a trauma survivor and never made a report and don’t have family so this is scary for me to deal with alone….

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I swear it ties into Catholicism, so bear with me. I used to be addicted to porn as a woman, and no, this isn't another debate about whether porn should be banned or any of the other overly saturated topics.

My question is this: after overcoming my addiction, I recently tried watching it again out of curiosity, and I genuinely couldn't get past how misogynistic and perverse it felt. So much of it either seems to involve outright degrading or abusing women or hints at girls looking underage. As a woman, I honestly felt disgusted watching it and even thinking about the fact that I used to enjoy it.

I'm curious how Catholic men view pornography, especially if you used to struggle with it yourself. Has your perspective changed after quitting? More specifically, Catholic men, how do you view women? Was there a noticeable difference in how you viewed women during your addiction compared to after overcoming it? I'd also love to hear from women. Is this a common experience, or is it just me?

It's honestly made me kind of depressed because it feels like this is how society, even here in America, views women. The more distance I've gotten from pornography, the darker it seems. Any spiritual advice would also be appreciated. At this point, I honestly feel like it should be banned. It's just so dark.

I think the title kinda speaks for itself but to elaborate I don't really have a reason to live. I have $40k in student loans, no family, no friends, no car, and I'm hardly able to save anything after rent, groceries, health insurance, and mental health care. I can't even go to church because I don't have a car. I've had too many creepy/unwanted interactions on Lyft/Uber. There's no buses that go to the catholic churches near me. I just feel stuck and like my life isn't going to get better.

I don't think I'll ever be confirmed because of my lack of transportation. Every day feels like I wake up, work, finish my assignments that I pay for out of pocket because I have zero support, sleep, and repeat. Most days I want to take my life. I don't know who would marry me. This American economy sucks. All of these politicians are pedophiles, satanists, elitists and don't care about us. I don't know how anyone has any hope in the world that we live in.

The only reason I don't take my life is because I'm scared of purgatory and hell. How is anyone in a similar or relatable position getting through this?

I'm a pretty traditional woman. Like anyone, I'm not perfect, but I've never been married and don't have any children. I've only been using one dating app because I'm too anxious to approach men in person, and honestly, I don't want to spend months becoming friends with someone when my goal is to see if we're compatible for marriage. I don't want male friends. I just want to find my husband.

What I'm finding is that so many men who call themselves Catholic are either previously married, currently married, have children, don't want children, regularly drink and party, or just don't seem to live a traditional Catholic life. I'm not looking for a performative or "holier than thou" Catholic. I simply want a faithful, conservative Catholic man with a stable career who wants a sacramental marriage and 3 to 4 children. I have a career of my own as well. Is that really such a big ask?

My confirmation saint is Saint Dymphna. Learning about her life played a big role in my decision to remain celibate until marriage, and it honestly feels like many men don't share that same commitment anymore.

If anyone has any spiritual advice or encouragement, I'd really appreciate it. Please don't turn this into a debate about whether women should have male friends. That's simply a personal boundary I've chosen, and as a survivor of abuse, there's an additional layer to that decision.

Also, I'd appreciate it if this didn't turn into a "well, all the women I meet are like that too" thread. I'm not speaking for all women. I'm simply sharing my experience as a woman trying to date. There are women like me who have never been married, don't have children, and haven't slept with more men than they can count on one hand. We're genuinely trying to live chastely and are looking for a faithful, lifelong Catholic marriage. We do exist. I'm simply asking where the equivalent men are and how to proceed as a shy girl who doesn't naturally meet people.

I'm in my mid-20s, and honestly, I've been struggling a lot with loneliness and hopelessness lately.

Because of abuse, CPTSD, and depression, I don't really have a family or close friends. I was also in a long-term relationship that turned into an engagement and lasted nearly five years before it ended. Since then, I've felt incredibly lost and alone, especially because part of the reason it ended was my decision to become Christian and pursue the Catholic faith.

Sometimes I worry that I'll never find a husband because I have too much baggage. I was previously engaged, don't have a family to lean on, and often feel like no one would want someone with my history.

Dating apps have only made me more discouraged. One thing I've struggled with is meeting men who identify as Catholic, but don't seem interested in following some of the Church's teachings that are important to me, particularly waiting until marriage. I know everyone is a sinner and nobody follows the faith perfectly. I'm certainly not claiming to be perfect myself. But after encountering this repeatedly, I've found myself becoming increasingly cynical and having a harder time trusting people when they say they're serious about their faith.

I also have a history of sexual trauma, which makes these conversations and expectations especially difficult for me. The combination of past trauma, loneliness, and repeated disappointments has left me feeling more hopeless than I'd like to admit.

I'm currently going through OCIA and am not even confirmed Catholic yet, but lately I've been struggling with a sense of hopelessness and wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar. Has anyone else felt this way? If so, how did you get through it?

How do you all stay motivated when the scale doesn't seem to reflect what you're doing?

I recently went from 152 lbs to 135 lbs, and my current goal is 120 lbs. The frustrating part is that I'll have days where I'm only eating 300 to 700 calories, then step on the scale the next morning and either gain 0.2-0.4 lbs or stay the same. For example, yesterday all I had was two cups of zero sugar Jell-O and a can of beans, around 300-400 calories total (dealing with depression too and yes, I'm looking into therapy), and this morning the scale still didn't move the way I expected. I know weighing myself every morning probably doesn't help, and I understand things like water retention, hormones, digestion, and normal fluctuations can all affect the scale. But mentally, how do you deal with that? How do you stay motivated and trust the process when it feels like your efforts aren't being reflected immediately?

I find myself getting discouraged and thinking, "What's the point?" or "Why don't I decrease cals?" even though I know that's probably not rational. I'd love to hear how others handle these moments. Not promoting what my life has looked like. I'm wanting to actually increase cals.

I recently tried posting about veiling outside of Mass. My point was pretty simple: if a woman feels called to veil, why can't it be treated like any other personal devotion instead of being met with immediate suspicion or hostility?

What I find interesting is that many women who veil are not saying other women should be required to do it. They're simply sharing a personal conviction. Yet people often react as though they're trying to impose something on everyone else.

Why can't we just support fellow women in their devotion, even if it is not one we personally share?

For me, I feel called to veil. There is something beautiful about covering my head in reverence before the Lord. Christ is everywhere, and that is part of why daily veiling resonates with me. It is not about attention either. I have social anxiety and generally prefer to blend into the background. This is about devotion, not being noticed.

For those of you who veil or practice less common devotions, how do you handle the hostility and assumptions online?

After post edit: This was originally posted on CatholicWomen and Catholicism in detail, but mods took it down and suggested this one.

I see a lot of discussion here and on the Catholicism subreddit about veiling outside of Mass, especially as more young women seem to be feeling called to veil daily.

My question is: why is this treated so differently from other Catholic devotions?

If someone wears a Brown Scapular, carries a rosary, or has another visible devotion, most Catholics do not immediately question their motives. Yet when a woman chooses to veil outside of Mass, it is often seen as strange, political, performative, or even concerning. At the same time, women in other Abrahamic faiths regularly wear head coverings, including in Western countries, and it is generally accepted as a normal expression of faith. Why does it seem different when Christian women do something similar?

I also think people sometimes picture veiling as much more attention-grabbing than it actually is. There are countless colors, fabrics, styles, and designs. Some stand out more, while others are incredibly simple and blend into everyday outfits. Not every veil is a large lace mantilla. Many are quite subtle.

And before anyone brings up "historical context," I would argue that we are living in a historical context right now. Every generation is. Future Catholics will look back on our culture and circumstances just like we look back on previous generations. Simply saying something belonged to a different historical context does not automatically mean it has no place today.

Personally, if anything, I think this is the time for veiling. We live in an increasingly secular society where many people are hesitant to publicly identify as Christian. Around the world, Christians continue to face persecution and hostility for their faith. In that environment, it seems odd to me that visible expressions of Catholic devotion are sometimes viewed with suspicion by fellow Catholics. I am not saying every woman should veil. But if women genuinely feel called to it, and if other Catholics want to support them, I would honestly welcome seeing it become a larger movement. Not because it is required, but because I think Catholicism needs a stronger presence in society. We need more people who are willing to visibly live out their faith rather than hide it.

Maybe this is more of a reflection than a question at this point, but if veiling helps women grow closer to Christ and serves as a visible witness to the faith, I see that as a beautiful thing.

How do you all keep hope while dating? I'm fairly new to dating again after my first serious relationship ended and honestly I'm finding it harder than I expected. I deal with anxiety and some past trauma, so putting myself out there and being vulnerable again is scary. At the same time, I know what I'm looking for. I'd like a Catholic man who is pro life, wants to wait until marriage, is open to NFP, and ideally attends the Latin Mass regularly. I guess where I struggle is that while I do want a more traditional marriage and 3-4 children one day, I'm also afraid of ending up with someone who is chronically online and wrapped up in the whole "alpha trad bro" culture. I don't want to be seen as just a pretty woman to marry and have babies with. I want to be loved as a person and have a genuine friendship and partnership too. To be fair, I haven't actually had any bad experiences with Catholic men. Most of this fear comes from being hurt in the past and being scared to fully open up again. I know vulnerability is necessary if I ever want a healthy relationship, but sometimes it feels safer to keep my guard up. How do you all navigate that without becoming cynical or giving up hope?