u/No_Stand_7453

I’m an Asian male who lived in England from 18–21 and have lived in the US since. I’ve had pretty good experiences dating in both places, so I figured I’d share my perspective for other Asian guys who may be struggling with dating or just curious about what my experience has been like.

I was in the military from 18–24, so I wasn’t exactly making a lot of money during the years when I was dating the most. I only started making around $200k last year, so money wasn’t really a factor in my earlier dating experiences.

While I lived in England, I used dating apps pretty heavily. I’d match with women, make plans, and sometimes use those connections to travel around Europe. I’d hop on a cheap Ryanair flight, meet someone, stay with them, and basically turn it into an inexpensive vacation. It was honestly a pretty fun way to experience Europe.

I also dated in the US and, personally, I found the American dating market significantly easier. Before my current job, I had an employer who paid me to travel to cities near major college campuses, which gave me a lot of opportunities to meet people. I found American women generally easier to approach and have conversations with, and dating felt more straightforward to me.

I’ve also noticed that being successful with women has had much less to do with money than I originally thought. Confidence, being social, taking care of yourself, having your own life and actually being willing to approach women have made a much bigger difference for me.

I’ve since grown out of the hookup phase and have been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for the past three years. She’s 26 and currently in medical school, and she’s someone I genuinely want to build a life with.

I’m not claiming that my experience is universal or that there’s some secret formula for Asian men to become successful with women. I just know that I used to hear a lot of negative things about Asian men and dating, and my own experience has been very different. If sharing what worked for me can help another Asian guy become more confident or improve his dating life, I’m happy to do that.

For context, the first picture is my child’s mother, who I was previously married to. The other pictures are my most recent ex-girlfriend and my current partner.
AMA.

I’m an Asian male who lived in England from 18–21 and have lived in the US since. I’ve had pretty good experiences dating in both places, so I figured I’d share my perspective for other Asian guys who may be struggling with dating or just curious about what my experience has been like.

I was in the military from 18–24, so I wasn’t exactly making a lot of money during the years when I was dating the most. I only started making around $200k last year, so money wasn’t really a factor in my earlier dating experiences.

While I lived in England, I used dating apps pretty heavily. I’d match with women, make plans, and sometimes use those connections to travel around Europe. I’d hop on a cheap Ryanair flight, meet someone, stay with them, and basically turn it into an inexpensive vacation. It was honestly a pretty fun way to experience Europe.

I also dated in the US and, personally, I found the American dating market significantly easier. Before my current job, I had an employer who paid me to travel to cities near major college campuses, which gave me a lot of opportunities to meet people. I found American women generally easier to approach and have conversations with, and dating felt more straightforward to me.

I’ve also noticed that being successful with women has had much less to do with money than I originally thought. Confidence, being social, taking care of yourself, having your own life and actually being willing to approach women have made a much bigger difference for me.

I’ve since grown out of the hookup phase and have been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for the past three years. She’s 26 and currently in medical school, and she’s someone I genuinely want to build a life with.

I’m not claiming that my experience is universal or that there’s some secret formula for Asian men to become successful with women. I just know that I used to hear a lot of negative things about Asian men and dating, and my own experience has been very different. If sharing what worked for me can help another Asian guy become more confident or improve his dating life, I’m happy to do that.

For context, the first picture is my child’s mother, who I was previously married to. The other pictures are my most recent ex-girlfriend and my current partner.
AMA.