u/No_creative_thoughts

I miss my daughter so much. I’m almost six month out from losing her due to IC in the second trimester. I want her back so bad it physically hurts. This subreddit, the grief counseling - it all made me think it would be easier to breathe by now, but really it’s still just barely tolerable. It’s hard to truly find joy in anything and in the few moments that there is joy, I’m overcome by guilt and remorse and anger. We had to go through IVF to get pregnant this time and losing her after that feels particularly cruel. Three of our friends were expecting within weeks of us -which was surprising because we’re older - and we were excited for our kid to have companions amongst our friend group. They all had girls too…and I can’t imagine ever seeing any of them again.

Three years ago, over this holiday weekend, I was laying in bed sobbing as I listened to the fireworks as I bled while I lost our first child.

I’m so tired. I just want my children. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t know how to go on.

For those who have gone through IVF, I wanted to get an idea on what was the recommended and implemented timeline between your TAC to FET.

Our TAC surgeon said we could go into an FET right away. Our RE/IVF doc said she would want us to wait one cycle.

I’m scheduled for my TAC later this week. I’ll either be on my cycle by then or will start right after. And I’m thinking in my head, is that my one cycle wait?

Given that our protocol is nearly two months long before the actual transfer (one month of BC and then meds), I’ll have almost 7-8 weeks to heal before the transfer. And I’ll ask my RE but she’s new for us because our last doctor left the practice and I’m not that comfortable with her yet. I wanted to hear about other people’s experiences too.

I’m trying to gather info rather than let my emotions win because my goodness, I just want to get my baby in my arms now. But I also don’t want to throw away a cycle or lose an embryo because of my emotional impatience.