u/NobbyNobrains

It was late in the evening, around midday, that nothing happened. I first heard the birds barking up the wrong flagpole, and as I slept I could see a swan chasing a tractor pulling an agricultural contraption down the canal.

It made me wonder what my reaction would be if I were to be confronted by a macramé poltergeist in full battle attire, wielding a handful of liver, while I was shopping for surgical appliances.

Purely by coincidence, a clown passed by on a bicycle. He didn't stop to say hello or anything.

Today I spoke with the man who spends the winter in an upturned bathtub by the canal. (During the daytime he likes to sit in a barrel full of semolina pudding and discarded surgical appliances, and can often be seen hurling over-ripe pineapples at passing wind turbines.)

He told me the surprising news that three-legged cucumbers are incompatible with regimental curtains, due to the random arrangement of the gnomes in the recycling facilities.

I could hear scratching sounds behind the bike shed, so I went to have a butcher's, and found a rabbit. Strange world indeed.