u/Normal_Ad648

My second born is 5 months and she was a very good sleeper as a newborn, getting a solid 5 or 6 hour stretch before waking up to feed every night. Then came the 4 month regression and boyy did she regress. HARD. Occasionally I'll get around 2 or 3 hours for the first stretch, and then it's up every 1-2 hours all night to feed back to sleep. Every night.

I'm much more prepared by it than I was with my first (because who isn't high strung with their first kid?) but now my issue is getting poor sleep and then having to get up for the day at 7am with a toddler (i solo parent on days my husband works so there is no break to get some recovery sleep) is rapidly wearing me down. With my first I caved at 7 months and did cry it out and I have so much regret over putting her through that but at the time I felt like I didn't have an option (and she ended up undoing all progress every time we would go to visit family and we refused to keep putting her through CIO to 'retrain' her) as she was an every 40 minute waker (day and night) by 6 months.

I don't want to do any form of CIO this time around but I need advice as to whether feeding to sleep is the culprit here or if this is just an age thing that will pass by itself and poor night sleep is part of the package.

I'm a mum of 2 year old and an 8 week old newborn. My toddler doesn't go down for the night with anyone but me. This has mostly always been the case, but even more so since newborn has come into the picture. The only time she'll go down with someone else is when she knows I'm not around (ie when I was in the hospital having my second), otherwise she will scream the house down, hysterically cry and just basically break down until she starts throwing up.

For the past 7 weeks I've been taking newborn in with me while I put toddler to sleep and it is absolutely exhausting feeding and putting them both to sleep simultaneously and bedtime is just the icing on the cake after a day of juggling two kids.

A few days ago we started having my husband take her to bed, he'll help wind her down but she'll start refusing to go to him come 7pm because she knows it's nearly bedtime. To combat this we decided that coming up to bedtime I would leave the apartment (we live in a 1 bedroom flat and there's nowhere to go that's out of the way enough). The first day I told her I was going to do something downstairs and would be right back, she was a little confused and cried after I left, day two she started saying from the evening that I didnt need to go and do any errands and that she wasnt sleeping with dad so I slipped out of the house when she was distracted with some toys and she didn't cry and just settled with him to sleep. On day 3 (today), come evening time when her dad came home from work (7.30ish,) she immediately started crying and asking me to not go (I also cried) and I told her I loved her and would be right back and left anyway. It was horrible and she cried louder and harder than she did on day 1. She settled after a minute of very loud crying and was asleep within 20 minutes (she takes a minimum of 40 minutes with me without fail)

I feel so incredibly horrible and don't know if I'm doing the right thing making her cry and forcing her to do bedtime with her dad? I feel like I'm causing distress before bedtime and it's not good for her? Any advice?

My daughter is 2 years 2 months and has always pushed me to the brink of my sanity with sleep. She was a barely 40 minute napper in her first year, needed vigorous amounts of rocking to even get to sleep, she would wake up to latch to sleep a hundred times a night until I weaned her at 15 months, which she then replaced with needing full body contact to go back to sleep. I feel like all of that in the first year and a half has left a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to bedtime and no matter how hard I try, I cannot deal with the dread and the rage that comes with winding her down to sleep.

I love her with all my heart, and I know the winding down and one on one time to connect and decompress before they sleep is so precious, I genuinely love to lie down and listen to her babble and tell her how much I love her and watch her giggle and smile. The issue is, it takes so so long to wind her down to sleep I literally feel like I lose the will to live every time. I really don't know what it is, maybe it's the me time that I need after tending to a toddler and newborn all day, but I just get so frustrated when she doesn't fall asleep fast. She takes a minimum of 40 mins from the time she lies down. I've tried pushing bedtime later, earlier, moving her nap around, changing the duration - nothing makes a difference. She will nearly always take near enough an hour to sleep.

Not sure what I'm looking for here, any advice? Or just some solidarity?

My daughter is 2 years 2 months and has always pushed me to the brink of my sanity with sleep. She was a barely 40 minute napper in her first year, needed vigorous amounts of rocking to even get to sleep, she would wake up to latch to sleep a hundred times a night until I weaned her at 15 months, which she then replaced with needing full body contact to go back to sleep. I feel like all of that in the first year and a half has left a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to bedtime and no matter how hard I try, I cannot deal with the dread and the rage that comes with winding her down to sleep.

I love her with all my heart, and I know the winding down and one on one time to connect and decompress before they sleep is so precious, I genuinely love to lie down and listen to her babble and tell her how much I love her and watch her giggle and smile. The issue is, it takes so so long to wind her down to sleep I literally feel like I lose the will to live every time. I really don't know what it is, maybe it's the me time that I need after tending to a toddler and newborn all day, but I just get so frustrated when she doesn't fall asleep fast. She takes a minimum of 40 mins from the time she lies down. I've tried pushing bedtime later, earlier, moving her nap around, changing the duration - nothing makes a difference. She will nearly always take near enough an hour to sleep.

Not sure what I'm looking for here, any advice? Or just some solidarity?

I'm a second time mum to a 6 week old. With my firstborn (2 y/o) we never considered a pacifier just because the thought of weaning her off it later was stressful. This time around however, I'm really spread thin juggling toddler and newborn needs and I think a pacifier would help keep baby calm while I deal with toddler.

The issue is I'm not sure when to actually give the pacifier. At 6 weeks, if I give it during naps during the day, will it become a crutch? If I give it in the middle of the night, will she wake up looking for it? Do I give it as soon as she's finished feeding to keep her napping longer stretches? Or am I completely overthinking everything? Please help