u/North_Hearing

My wife (47F) and I (40F) have been together for nearly two years. Our first year was long distance. We did 22 flights in that year to ensure that we never went more than just a few weeks without seeing each other. The intimacy was off the charts. We would have sex 4 times a day. Of course I knew that would die down once we lived together but this past year since we closed the distance has taken a toll on us.

My daughter (16F) was adopted at 9 and has had a lot of behavioral and mental health issues. I was really thoughtful about her when deciding to move across the country. I was on the West Coast parenting a high needs teen own my own. Moving to the East Coast meant I would not only be with my now wife and have parenting support but also I would be closer to my family. My daughter would be closer to grandparents and cousins and all that. Unfortunately, despite all the extra support my daughter had to be involuntarily committed three times in 7 months. And then… due to stress, I had a heart syncope that caused me to faint and I broke my ankle in three places requiring multiple surgeries. I was completely non weight bearing for over 3 months and also couldn’t drive.

Honestly, with everything my wife and I have been through, I am proud of us. It’s been A LOT!! We show up for each other. We communicate well. We try to be mindful of each other’s needs.

I’m starting to regain my mobility and my daughter moved back to the West Coast with her other mom.
We are starting to experience a somewhat normal routine again but our intimacy has taken its toll. I know she loves me. I know she would do literally anything for me. But it’s like we’ve been navigating chaos for so long and she’s had to step up and be my caretaker, take care of the house, the kids, the animals for so long now that’s it’s just not organic now.

How do we get our spark back? It doesn’t help that I already have my own trauma from past relationships when it comes to intimacy and feeling rejected. Also, my self esteem has taken a major blow since my accident. I feel useless when I can’t do things due to my mobility. I feel gross because I’ve gained weight and haven’t been able to exercise. And my wife is exhausted and I completely understand why.

We both recognized that it would be beneficial for us to see a therapist together and we plan on starting that soon. But any advice would be appreciated.

I’m looking for attorney recommendations in the Durham/Raleigh area to assist with a contractor not following through on a nearly six figure project. It’s been a year and a half of excuses and dragging feet and we need help getting this over the finish line.

Any recommendations based on first hand experience would be greatly appreciated.

I had my stitches out two weeks ago and I am pretty sure one was missed. The scab hasn’t healed in that spot where it has everywhere else.

What have everyone done when this happened?