u/NorwegianCoffees324

I need honest outside perspective on my relationship.

My girlfriend and I keep repeating the same conflict pattern:

Whenever we argue, she:

spam calls and texts me repeatedly

becomes very emotionally distressed if I don’t respond quickly

struggles heavily with me asking for space or time alone to cool down

Recently, I told her clearly I needed 1-2 days of no contact to calm down and think. During that time:

she continued texting and apologizing multiple times

she came to my house and waited outside after I didn’t respond

she expressed that she “needed me” and was very panicked

This is not the first time she has tried to physically come to my location during arguments (it has happened before in past fights, just not always to this extent).

I do care about her and I understand she may be acting from anxiety or fear of abandonment. But I also feel emotionally drained and like my boundaries are not being respected when I ask for space.

Now I’m genuinely unsure:

Is this something that can realistically be fixed with better communication and boundaries?

Or is this an unhealthy dynamic that usually requires separation to break the cycle?

Has anyone successfully “fixed” a relationship with this kind of repeated pattern?

I’m not looking for blame, I just want honest advice on whether this is salvageable or if I’m wasting time trying to fix something fundamentally unstable.