u/Not2coolguy

Hello all! I’m looking for some honest feedback on my horror screenplay called The Pot of Plenty.

It follows two sisters who discover an antique pot that grants requests in exchange for things they cherish. As their lives improve, the sacrifices become increasingly personal and neither sister agrees on when to stop.

It’s a dark fairy tale about addiction, dissatisfaction, and the messy line between loving someone and enabling them.

What I’d especially love to know:

Does the relationship between the sisters feel believable?

Does the dread build, or are there stretches where it loses momentum?

Are the pot’s rules clear?

Does the ending feel earned?

But feedback on any portion would be appreciated. If something feels confusing, repetitive, or just doesn’t work, I want to hear it.

The Pot of Plenty

Thanks in advance! Love you!

Hello all, I what I have here are the first 16 pages of the first draft of a horror script I’ve been working on called The Pot of Plenty, and I am eager to get some eyes on it.

It’s a dark fairy-tale/psychological horror story about two sisters and a strange antique pot that is capable of giving you whatever you want, provided you give it something of value in return.

It’s like The Giving Tree meets The Monkey’s Paw.

This is very much a first draft, so I already know there are plot threads, setups, and payoffs later in the script that need work. Right now I’m mostly interested in how the opening works on its own.

Does it grab you?

Do Danielle and Natalia feel like real people? Is the relationship between them clear? Does the Pot intrigue you enough to keep reading? Are there any moments where you got bored, confused, or felt like the pacing dragged?

Also happy to hear any feedback on the dialogue, writing style, horror, or anything else that jumps out.

Thanks in advance to anybody who takes the time to read it!

The Pot of Plenty

I love you!

Hello all, I what I have here are the first 16 pages of the first draft of a horror script I’ve been working on called The Pot of Plenty, and I am eager to get some eyes on it.

It’s a dark fairy-tale/psychological horror story about two sisters and a strange antique pot that is capable of giving you whatever you want, provided you give it something of value in return.

It’s like The Giving Tree meets The Monkey’s Paw.

This is very much a first draft, so I already know there are plot threads, setups, and payoffs later in the script that need work. Right now I’m mostly interested in how the opening works on its own.

Does it grab you?

Do Danielle and Natalia feel like real people? Is the relationship between them clear? Does the Pot intrigue you enough to keep reading? Are there any moments where you got bored, confused, or felt like the pacing dragged?

Also happy to hear any feedback on the dialogue, writing style, horror, or anything else that jumps out.

Thanks in advance to anybody who takes the time to read it!

The Pot of Plenty

I love you!

Hey everyone, I’ve just finished working on a new draft of a supernatural horror/dramedy pilot called The Department, and I’d love an outside perspective on it.

The basic premise:

In a small town, hauntings aren’t treated as paranormal mysteries anymore. They’re municipal problems.

It’s like Ghostbusters meets Parks and Rec meets Stephen King.

I’m especially looking for feedback on:

The world. Does The Department feel believable and lived-in?
Does Leland work as a protagonist?
Is the balance between comedy, character drama, and horror working?
Are there places where the script drags or feels repetitive?
Does the supernatural mystery make you want to keep watching?
Which scenes/characters stood out the most?
And most importantly: would you watch episode two?

I’ve rewritten and rearranged this thing quite a few times, so at this point I’m probably too close to it to tell what’s working and what only works because I already know the story.

Don’t worry about being gentle. If something sucks, tell me it sucks.

Thanks in advance!

The Department