u/Numerous_Day6545

But I do.

Anxiety already hit me

I’ve escaped from the society but I can’t escape my mind. Anything. Please.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They got what they wanted

We hikikomoris, have no power, thus we get stepped on. We lack everything, we have nothing. Scums to be spit on.

I just keep tweaking

It feels ironic that some therapists may never have personally encountered narcissistic dynamics, yet still present themselves as more knowledgeable about them than those of us who’ve actually lived through it. Many of us, especially those raised by at least one npd parent, become deeply familiar with these patterns firsthand (and also of course because we ourselves are narcs, we understand it more clearly than anyone else).

What’s exhausting is that these conversations in therapy rarely lead to any real help…At least in my experience, my therapist has never truly understood me. (I guess as a normal person she just couldn’t imagine our lives our minds)Whenever I asked a question, she never gave a direct answer. always circled around it, redirected the focus back onto me, and somehow regained control of the conversation (fuck that). I feel fooled and manipulated. I’ve spent a ton of money and time on this therapy shit, and now I lost all those,received zero help,and got humiliated.

You might feel like slowly going insane due to severe deprivation of human interactions and being trapped in your own negative thoughts 24/7, but hey, being with someone else you’ll be tortured to death! It’s gonna fucking destroy you! So yeah you are having it the best way now

Absolutely nobody

Withdrawn from society, I’ve already given up on everything. The meanings people cling to, the activities in which they immerse themselves…I’ve lost interest in them all, and whatever faith I once had is gone.

But if I am to remain a hiki for the rest of my life, I cannot continue this empty-drift, carried along without direction. I must find something to hold onto—something to do, some form of meaning capable of sustaining me.

I never saw them as real potential relationships but as the background to my solitary existence.

It doesn’t change anything. I’m waiting for death.