u/Numerous_Elk_8444

Y'all, I'm having a dilemma. I've been slowly walking down this witchy path for a few years now. Autoimmune diseases and job crises have been forefront so I haven't been able to put as much TLC into my spirituality as I would have liked but things are finally improving.

Now, I've posted before about what to believe/where to turn, and the responses I received were as expected. A more witchy and more helpful version of "follow your heart" which is true! But recently I've been seeing comments here and there saying no "new age" stuff, and I'm curious as to why.

I know what I believe and follow is ultimately up to me, but I am interested in hearing other people's perspective on the New Age movement. I'm truly welcoming people from all walks to give their insight into the new age ideas and philosophy. I want to understand, as metaphysical anything is very limited in my city so I'm a bit isolated here. Help me, sisters, please! I could use y'all's wisdom.

Hi all!

I have a question about welcoming in guidance from ancestors or spirit guides. I recently went to a Litha Faire and had a great Druid reading by a helpful and wonderful friend. She recommended that I speak with my ancestral guides, the Tuatha Dé Danann and call them in. Basically letting them know "hi I'm here and I'm ready to learn", and last weekend I knelt down in prayer and did just that.

I asked for guidance and told them I'm willing to hear them. That I want to know what they have to say. But.... I haven't heard anything. I will say I think I've had some animal signs! Like a hare and an endangered tortoise literally walking up my driveway and hanging out in my front porch. And a strange looking kitten. I've also been feeling a lot more rejuvenated by the nearby trees, and have wonderful conversations with them. I haven't had any earth shattering dreams, just my usual craziness that makes no sense. Like last night after a nightmare involving getting stuck in a three house culdesac with people approaching, I dreamt of a wild boar with a mohawk eating piglets, and a woman trying to rescue them. I told her to stand aside and let the boar do as it was meant to do. And then I spawned piglets like in Minecraft and dodged the boar. I literally don't see any symbolism there.

Anyways, I don't know what to listen for. It's not like I'm expecting words in my ears, but I don't know - I guess I'm expecting something more outward than my higher self? They say intuition whispers and anxiety screams. I've been working to unlock my psychic gifts, and it's slow going. Does anyone have any recommendations? I just sort of quietly prayed. Is there something I'm missing?

There's so much out there, it can be overwhelming at times, and I don't know what to believe. I know witchcraft is what you make it, and it's up to the practitioner but good**ness** I could use some guidance.

There's deities, quantum leaping/Law of Attraction, and there's spells/rituals, kitchen witches, Druids and groves, etc.. there's some people that say just ✨delulu✨ your way into believing you're a millionaire and become the future you that is a millionaire in an alternate dimension and "hop" timelines. That this is just a simulation for the collective to have a human experience and once you understand that, you can change your future at will.

Or you can do a money bowl with a mason jar with sugar sweets to quicken it. Or money is a currency and it's just energy so you have to open yourself up to the energy and stop having a lack mentality and don't check your bank account too often! Meanwhile I got $250 in the bank, my thirtieth birthday is this week, I can't celebrate because I don't have many meaningful friends and I want to believe that this will be a magical time where I can harness the power of my birthday and get financial abundance but it is **difficult** when I don't know **where** to even direct my **focus**!!!

I'm irritated. Hekate seems really awesome but is deity work "right" (for me) or am I deluding myself. Or is it a demon? Sometimes I get very sensual/sexual energy when I timidly ask things of Hekate and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. I'm supposed to be stepping into my power, having self love and appreciating myself but it's hard to do that when you need your husband to pay for your dang haircut.

I feel like I'm completely alone and isolated here too because all the witchy stuff in my area is specifically for pagans and Celtic magic. Which is awesome, don't get me wrong, I even named my dog after Sucellus because I felt such good luck getting him before I started my witchy journey!!! But... I'm Guatemalan. There's no Guatemalan bruja in this city. There's no understanding or connection here aside from the trees and Druids I've gotten to know (who are **awesome**). But I feel such doubt about Hekate or Kali Ma or Sekhmet because these aren't my goddesses. I feel like it isn't for me. There's nothing where I've instantly felt this cord of knowing it's **right** like something is being aligned. Where I can go gung ho and know that this is the right path for me.

I grew up Christian so this is all difficult for me to an extent. The child in me wants to love God and angels and Jesus, but I can't go for a patriarchal religion (or just religion in general). I can't worship a God that I don't have faith in, who I'm hurt by, who I love and yet he isn't an Olde God. I miss my God the Father who I trusted and believed in when I was little. I love Mother Earth. I love my Divine and Dark sisters, aunties and mothers. But I feel displaced. I feel incorrect. I feel like I'm trying to fit my triangle ass into a square hole. There's "Spirit" and the Universe but I miss how it was when I was younger. How I used to speak to the abrahamic God and tell him all my problems, and ask Him about His day and would ask him to say hi to the angels for me. Little me misses my Spiritual Father and grown me sees all the toxicity and problems.

I'm so lost and sad. Nothing feels right anymore.

Sorry ahead of time for any formatting issues or oddities, I'm on mobile.

For context: I have ADHD/ADD (idk which one, all I know is they put me on Adderall and it helps) and I'm chronically ill. One of the flare up side effects is brain fog. So I can take a day to rest and recover, I'm being better about not pushing myself too hard, etc. But I'm still having this issue with work where I get up in the morning, I get ready, I tell myself positive affirmations of how much work I'm going to get done, I sit down at my desk and just... Nothing.

It's like my brain turns off. I can't think. I just sit here and can't move. I know what needs to be done but, it's like my brain can't process it. So I get on my phone for 10 minutes to reset. Ten minutes turns into a half hour which turns into a few hours which turns into... A few days. It's like all my willpower to do things I know I can do is zapped out of me. I have to drink so much caffeine or work late at night for me to finally get things done. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've tried meditation, yoga, taking frequent breaks, photosynthesizing outside, playing with my dog - nothing works.

Has anyone experienced this? What helped? I'm working at a new law firm where the work is so far not difficult or unmanageable but I'm afraid I'm going to get fired any moment or be told I'm doing everything wrong even though the staff are friendly and supportive. I push it off over and over again until Friday 2pm rolls around and I'm scrambling till 6pm.

Sorry ahead of time for any formatting issues or oddities, I'm on mobile.

For context: I have ADHD/ADD (idk which one, all I know is they put me on Adderall and it helps) and I'm chronically ill. One of the flare up side effects is brain fog. So I can take a day to rest and recover, I'm being better about not pushing myself too hard, etc. But I'm still having this issue with work where I get up in the morning, I get ready, I tell myself positive affirmations of how much work I'm going to get done, I sit down at my desk and just... Nothing.

It's like my brain turns off. I can't think. I just sit here and can't move. I know what needs to be done but, it's like my brain can't process it. So I get on my phone for 10 minutes to reset. Ten minutes turns into a half hour which turns into a few hours which turns into... A few days. It's like all my willpower to do things I know I can do is zapped out of me. I have to drink so much caffeine or work late at night for me to finally get things done. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've tried meditation, yoga, taking frequent breaks, photosynthesizing outside, playing with my dog - nothing works.

Has anyone experienced this? What helped? I'm trying to cut down my phone usage first thing in the morning. I was lucky enough to be able to switch to a fully remote job but it's still happening. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid of failing or something but I can't keep doing this!!

I'm going through some medical issues and needing to locate the name of a physician who treated me when I was a kid. My parents are both deceased and I can't locate anything in their old paperwork.

This would've been a female endocrinologist, around 2010, potentially at Ascension Sacred Heart. Her name, if I remember right, sounded like "Dr. Zerah" and I believe she was a Middle Eastern woman. It would mean a lot to me if someone who knows anything could respond so I can potentially do a records request or try to put a timeline together for my doctors.

Thanks so much to anyone who can help!

Am I the only one who hears someone howling or crying "ow" into the night? Sounds like it's coming near Cook Out or the old Dodges maybe?

Started as a litigation assistant for a Mass Torts case in 2022... Hated almost every one of my coworkers who were all young, irresponsible, and never took anything seriously. Got bullied by my paralegal because I wouldn't go out drinking with her because I have frickin lupus.

Then went to an immigration law office as a legal assistant. I was also the receptionist, the office manager, HR, and the cleaning lady though I didn't get the pay for it. I worked from 8am to 11pm. I developed mysterious bruises on my stomach, a bald spot, and had panic attacks almost daily. The ceiling collapsed, there was an asbestos scare, and they still made me clean it.

Then I got this job offer at Morgan & Morgan as a paralegal. I thought it would be a good fit. I thought getting paid DOUBLE what I've made in the past few years would be fantastic. I thought oh, this'll be good in spite of seeing everyone say how awful it is because it's a big firm, I'll get more experience, it'll be more professional. HA. HA. My litigation assistant is awful. She hugs me all the time. She can't take a hint. There is so much constant drama. It is worse than ever. My attorney forgets I exist on a daily basis. I'm like a mildly tolerated middle child. They say I do great work but I'm putting in 20% effort. I hate almost everyone here. I'm not challenged. I'm not having fun. I'm not anything. I've only been here since August, and I can't keep switching firms every other year!!! Whats my excuse here?? I hate people and can't be around them because they make me burn with a fury and it stresses me out which directly impacts my health? That's not great for interviews.

So I reached out to a law group that focuses on family law and human trafficking and whatnot. I interviewed there last year trying to escape the immigration office but didn't get it because I'm still green and don't have enough experience because it feels like no one knows how to utilize me. I reached out randomly for advice about taking the LSAT and getting a JD and they said they're hiring for a full time paralegal and want to interview me. So I'm probably still not going to get it but interview experience is interview experience. I keep being the personality hire but newsflash my personality is that I can't stand most people professionally.

I feel like this paralegal thing I thought could be it for me is just a waste of time I'm sitting here crying in this stupid, dusty, dark cubicle because it feels like I'm failing sideways. I feel like every law office in this god awful dead end city is just full of toxic mean girls. I'm not smart enough to be a lawyer even if I did want to be a lawyer, which I don't. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. This whole thing feels like a huge mistake. I'm in physical therapy, mental therapy, finally getting a diagnosis for ADHD, I have a rheumatologist scheduled, I'm getting the house fixed up to sell, I'm doing all this stupid wellness crap but I come here and feel instantly drained and burned out. Is this just a me problem?? Am I the only one having these issues with law offices in small cities??

Sorry for venting. Ya girl is struggling and crying in the club. I'm trying to be a kickass lady but I'm just getting my ass kicked.