u/OOTfuntime427

In light of my previous post regarding my friendship breakup (Which btw I read all of your comments and I do appreciate each and every one of you for giving me support), I want to talk about how friendships are pretty much at the bottom of the barrel in our society. I'm pretty sure you've heard the phrases "People come and go! Friendships can often fade and drift apart in life and they are only for a season in your life anyway!" Meanwhile with marriage and romantic relationships..... "OH MY GOD NO!! Do not get that divorce!! Love is so beautiful and you both need to communicate and save your marriage!!" "Till death do us part!!" And even with family like the phrase "Family is forever! Family must stick together!" But with friends?? It's so weird to say that friends come and go. I really don't like this phrase and this mindset because it shows how undervalued platonic love is in our society. People want to work so hard to maintain romantic and familial relationships but they see friends as low maintenance. Now, don't get me wrong, I love romantic and familial love. And I get that some people in life will just be acquaintances and will drift sometimes. But with close friends? Yeah you do kinda owe them some loyalty.

As the title says, I am currently going through a friendship breakup from 2 of my closest friends of 7-10 years. We all got pretty close. I remember meeting them at youth group before we graduated high school and we instantly clicked. We have so much in common and we shared many memories together. I even saw these 2 fall in love and get married. I helped them through it all too and they told me that I was one of their bestest friends. We shared many hardships together too and we did so much together too like best friends do. But idk, as of 2025, they seemed to grow distant from me. Especially when I pursued my medical career and went to school for it. They were leaving me out of events and they all of the sudden started to hang out with 2 other people and called them their best friends. I let it go for a while, but I recently told them how this made me feel. You wanna know what they told me? They told me "Well OP, friendships do fade within time. And we are only just good acquaintances now. We did some healing and you should be okay with this title now." When they told me this, I was feeling all sorts of betrayal and confusion and hurt. After everything we have been through together and everything we did.....I felt like I was gut punched. And he proceeded to tell me that I was being immature for reacting this way and his wife (My bestie) didn't say anything and immediately took his side because she was too engrossed into him to say anything for herself. I talked to people about this and they just told me to "Let it go! Friendships do fade within time you know!" I hate this. So much because they don't have the same energy when it comes to romantic love or romantic breakups. I have always taken my friendships seriously and this recent event really upset me.

I'm a 28 year old woman and I never really had a serious relationship. I never had any luck finding men within social IRL spaces so I'm left with no choice but to hop on the dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble. I recently go on there today during my break and I swiped right on a few guys and we matched. Not long after I swiped right on this one guy, he immediately messages me and starts off by saying "Hi OP! I'm M!" (For privacy reasons I will be using initials) "I think you're really pretty!" Now, that comment I don't mind. I was really flattered when he was complimenting me. But, then when I tried to ask him how he was doing he proceeds to say "Oh I'm doing really good now especially since we've matched! You really brightened up my day!" And then as we talk and get to know each other he proceeds to keep saying "You have been the biggest breath of fresh air for me like oh my God you're so gorgeous and I would love to give you my number so that I can take you out and have you be my girlfriend and ugh I just need someone so pretty like you!" So basically, he's being overly sweet in these messages. I've heard of love bombing before and I cannot help but be super anxious over this because this is how narcissists trap their partners. He then proceeds to ask me where I live and he wants me to give him my number. Like, I don't a part of me feels like he could be a nice guy and I'm just too avoidant or is he being too forward? like the way he's talking to me is like he's known me for years. I feel like he's moving too fast for me.

Edit: He also sent me a message at 2am while I was asleep in hopes that I would reply back to him right away. He also told me that women hardly swipe right on him and he says that he's really grateful that a beautiful woman like me gave him the time of day.

Now I am grey romantic so I do some romantic attraction and I don't mind a romantic relationship. Hell I even love romance! That being said, I also really value the bonds created with friends and family and God I just wish this world wasn't so romance centered. I always feel pressured to get married and now that I am a 28 year old woman people are telling me "Time's ticking!! You're running out of time and youth!" Like come on why do people rush these type of things? Do people just solely rely on romantic love alone to medicate their loneliness?