Kinda lonely birthday
It’s my birthday tonight, and somehow I’ve barely told anyone. Moved out of Mumbai two months back and back there birthdays somehow never felt this quiet. There was always someone to call, someone making plans etc.
Here in Kolkata, I barely know anyone. And tonight, I’m just sitting by myself, watching the day pass without really knowing what I’m supposed to feel.
I know birthdays are just another day. I know I shouldn’t expect people to remember a date I never even told them. But maybe that’s what makes it hurt a little more. You start wondering what it feels like to be missed. To have someone think of you without being reminded. To have someone say, “Hey, it’s your birthday,” and make you feel like your existence matters to them.
This might be one of the few birthdays in my life with no plans, no celebration and barely any wishes.
Just me, a strangely quiet night, and a little more loneliness than I expected.
I miss Mumbai tonight. I miss the noise. I miss the people. I miss feeling like I belonged somewhere.
Maybe growing up really is just learning how to sit with these quiet moments and pretend they don’t hurt.
Happy birthday to me, I guess. 🎂