u/Obsessed_Bookworm

It it far too late at night. I’m just going to ramble and then regret everything tomorrow.

Right, so Hamilton as a dad. From what I can tell, he was actually great and told his children to think of him more as a friend than anything and according to witnesses Hamilton frequently played with his children and absolutely doted on them (unlike in the musical, like c’mon LMM, Hamilton, despite his flaws, was a great dad.) I mean, at least until Phillip died and then he because all paranoid and stuff and all his joy disappeared.

Oh, and y’all probably know this but Angelica Hamilton, like Phillip’s younger sister, goes insane after her brother dies and kept talking to him (and later her father) as if they were still alive. She would play her side of the pianoforte for the songs that she and Phillip composed and would play together and constantly ask them where her brother was. And like while Hamilton was alive he desperately tries to get her back, but like she refused to learn any new songs published after 1801 and acted more and more childish which is such a tragedy because she was a brilliant individual. She’s dies in like a mental asylum at age 74.

John Church Hamilton, 11 when his dad died became obsessed with glorifying his father’s legacy and controlling how America saw him and censored and glorified everything. Like, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. AAAAAAAAAAAA. He honestly did more than Eliza when it came to like, preserving his dad’s amazingness and all that. Though Eliza also did a lot, not denying that, never denying that.

His other children all became like, successful lawyers and stuff.

Oh, and like, his last child was named lil Phil after Phillip.

Phillip’s duel with G. Eaker was actually more like, *stares at each other for a full minute* *phillip raises gun* *phillip is shot* and also Hamilton didn’t shoot at the sky, he either intentionally missed the shot (the bullet lodged in a branch near burr) or his pistol, which had a hair trigger mechanism, fired when his body spasmed. I support the second one since he told the doctors helping him to be careful with the gun as it was still loaded.

oh and one thing I find really ironically poetic in a tragic way is that Hamilton tried so hard to be a good dad but he left his children in the exact same situation he was in, destitute and fatherless. Only difference, Eliza was smart and also not dead, and he had political friends. So like, a buncha people grouped together to buy the grange (Hamilton’s dream house that he bought a few years before he died) and then sold it back to Eliza for one dollar so she wouldn’t be homeless and helped fund their education.

And also, Eliza knew about the reynold’s affair for quite a while before Hamilton published it and she mostly went away to her father’s estate to escape public backlash because society back then at least partially decided she wasn’t good enough and that’s why Hamilton cheated. Also, it’s so damn obvious that Hamilton didn’t view Eliza as an intellectual equal and his letters to her consisted of 3 things. 1. She’s perfect for her sex and so beautiful. 2. His loves her and misses her. 3. ELIZA DO YOU STILL LOVE ME????? Yeah, he was pretty insecure and I know like, yk, view history from a 18th century standpoint and all that and that was the norm back then but come on. It’s the time period’s fault though, not really Hamilton’s.

And then we have Laurens. *siiiiiiigh*

so first of all he had a one night stand with Martha Mannings, got her pregnant, and married her out of honor. He absolutely did not even like her and he really just ignored her and his few letters to her are so cold. He literally fled to America to escape her and when his dad, Henry Laurens, was like, “stop neglecting your damn wife“ he was like “I’m too busy fighting for liberty to give a shit about my damn wife.”

Oh, and he also blamed himself for James “Jemmy“ Laurens death who he was taking care of in France and then Jemmy tried to climb a wall and jump into a window but fell and shattered his skull and died in (John) Laurens’s arms. He got pretty suicidal after that.

But then Henry Laurens was also pretty manipulative and pushed an insane amount of stress onto his eldest son which is what led to Laurens’s obsession with honor and his suicidalness (is that a word?) so hmmmm.

So I honestly think I only like Laurens because he died before he could absolutely ruin his domestic life. And btw, Martha Mannings Laurens died in 1781 before him desperately wanting to see her husband one last time. And Laurens himself, who was still barely recovered from a fever decided to charge into an unnecessary battle where he was outnumbered 3-1 and he knew that so a lot of people think that was an intentional suicide. Which is supported by the fact that he wrote about wishing for a “lucky bullet” to shoot him in the face. Which is sad but another man, who was most likely not suicidal and had a life, died in the battle of the Combahee river because Laurens wanted to die and another few (19?) were injured and 3 went missing aka also died. Oh, and his black battalion plan never passed through unlike what the musical said.

So Frances Laurens went to John Laurens’s dad, who was a much better parental figure to her that to Laurens. He completely defied 18th century social norms and gave her the same education he gave John some 20+ years ago along with the doting care that his children completely didn’t receive. He made sure she was married to a nice family (Unfortunately she hated the husband and the husband sucked and they separated) and left almost everything to her to ensure she would be able to stay financially independent. But like, before you start loving on Henry Laurens, he supported slavery, owned a bunch of slaves and viewed himself as a God like benevolent figure to them who was supposed to love those lesser than him. He was a nicer slave owner for his time, and he believed in not whipping them, though that’s not saying anything. SLAVERY IS BAD BAD BAD BAD and he knew it. Historical people are often really contradictory, what can I say.

oh, and Frances died without having kids so the John Laurens direct bloodline did die out but she did find all the correspondence between her father and a bunch of other people and made sure to donate them to historical archives so he’d never be forgotten.

OH, right, I never gave reasons for why Laurens would have been a terrible father. Well, he emotionally distanced himself from everyone, was in desperate need of then non-existing therapy, and absolutely didn’t care about his daughter at all when he was alive. He never met her, never asked about her, and he also had like a huge temper and was reckless and stubborn, which, coupled with his period-typical attitude toward woman and his emotional detachment, would have most likely made him an abusive father.

also, don’t mind the grammar, English is my third language and I am sleep deprived.

Please don’t kill me for this, but the character of Polites just feels very two-dimensional to me. It seems like his whole reason of existence is just to be ridiculously naive and kind and then spend the rest of the musical haunting the narrative as Ody slowly descends into a monster.

Like, he just spent ten brutal, bloody years at war, witnessing some awful things happen, and his entire personality is still “this life is amazing when you greet it with open arms?” Not that I’m saying that war veterans can’t be optimistic, but he really seems to have no other traits besides that.

Am I missing something, or is he just supposed to be a tragic plot device?

Lams. Number one ship in the fandom and the birthplace of some beautiful pieces of angst. Absolutely amazing ship, please keep shipping it, I ship it myself so in no way am I telling you to stop. The problem arises when, unlike other popular ships like Mullette, Marliza, or Jamilton, people trust internet theories with extremely warped evidence and start genuinely believing they were a thing historically. And then call people who say they weren’t romantically involved homophobic, which is honestly very toxic but that’s a fandom problem for another time. Just keep in mind that I identify as aro/ace and in no way homophobic.

So, now that I’m done with that, I’m going to debunk some very common UNTRUE Internet rumours flying around as “evidence” that Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens were romantically involved. Feel free to list more in the comments because I think I missed some but cannot for the life of me remember what they were. Also, I have no idea if this is the right tone of voice to use for Reddit but whatever. Here we go.

1. The many, many, many, many love declarations.

In the many letters exchanged between Hamilton and Laurens, phrases such as “I love you,” ”my dear boy,” “yr affectionate Laurens” and “My dear Laurens,” are thrown around quite a bit. They sound pretty romantic, but that’s only because we’re interpreting letters sent in the 18th century from a modern point of view. Back then, it was completely normal for two men to write like that. I know it seems so very shocking, but societal norms can change quite a lot in 250 years. Back then, it was pretty much expected for men to write deeply emotional, flowery, slightly poetic letters to their close friends and it definitely wasn’t just Laurens and Hamilton. Seriously, go search up any letter between close friends at that time and phrases like “I love you” and “yrs forever” will pop up all over the place. It was an extremely normal cultural phenomenon back then and historians today call such relationships romantic friendships; a platonic close bond with romantic language scattered in.

2. The threesome invitation.

Unless you live under a boulder, you’ve probably heard somewhere that Hamilton invited Laurens to his marital bed at his wedding night. Yes, there was a letter hinting at that, but there are several reasons why this offer was IN NO WAY serious. First of all, Laurens at that time was stuck in Pennsylvania and in no way would have made it to Hamilton’s wedding, which both of them knew. Also, for someone who cared as deeply about his reputation as Hamilton did, there was zero chance that he would invite a second man to his wedding bed, even if he and Laurens were having a thing. Not to mention that the tone of the writing suggesting it was very humorous. It was most likely just a wildly inappropriate joke shared between two close young men.

3. The ”nose” joke.

In his most famous “cold-in-my-professions“ letter, Hamilton writes something along the lines of “find me a wife, and when she asks what I look like, draw me and don’t forget to mention the impressive length of my nose.” Same as the last one. Honestly, RECOGNIZE HUMOUR? This is undeniably a dick joke, but the context makes it very clear that it was also the 1700s equivalent of a dick joke between two close male friends. Ever joked to a friend about how big your dick was and how it’ll impress the ladies? Well, the letter reads almost exactly like that! Men back then talked about their dicks too! We have not changed that much as a species! They were two adrenaline-filled young guys at war, what kind of jokes were you expecting?

4. The ideal wife and the use of the word “handsome.”

In the same letter, Hamilton tells Laurens to find him a wife while in South Carolina. Among many other characteristics, he includes the word “handsome” as a trait his ideal wife must have. Because nowadays, “handsome“ is a word used to describe attractive men and rarely used on women, this has lead some people to believe Hamilton was actually listing the characteristics of Laurens. Well, guess what? Words can evolve new meanings over time! Back in the late 1700s, the word “handsome,” when pointed at a woman, meant she was “dignified, elegant, and of a high social standing.” Unlike compliments such as “pretty” or “beautiful,” which only pointed to a woman’s looks and were considered superficial, “handsome” referred to many positive aspects of a woman. Also, Hamilton writes that his wife must be submissive, have no temper whatsoever, never argue with him, and either not talk about politics or completely share his viewpoints. Basically the ideal woman for most men at the time, and very different from Laurens, who was hot-headed, fiercely opinionated, and notoriously stubborn.

5. The hurried marriage.

In his letter to Laurens soon after marriage, Hamilton mentions Laurens urging him to marry as soon as possible, which has lead to some people theorizing that Laurens wanted to “cure” Hamilton’s homosexuality through marriage. THERE IS NO PROOF FOR THIS. At the same time, however, after combing through Founders Archive, which is where I got most of my evidence for this post, I was not able to find the original letter from Laurens urging Hamilton to do so, nor an explanation as for why.
So technically, I cannot debunk this theory. Nevertheless, there could be many other explanations that are far more plausible. By then, they had been fighting in the war for a few years, meaning they were both disillusioned to the fact that they could die. In the late 18th century, one of the only ways to pass down your legacy, unless you did something unforgettable, was to get married and then pass it on to your children. Laurens, who was already married by then, probably just wanted Hamilton to have a way to be remembered and also experience an important part of life before potentially dying. This however, is also just a theory and therefore impossible to prove, though it is, looking at societal norms back then, more likely.

6. The censorship of their letters.

You’ve probably all heard the rumour “the letters they exchanged were so sexual that historians had to censor them!” Nope, not true on two counts. First of all, the only person who censored them was John Church Hamilton, and we have no proof that they were sexual in any way, which I’ll get to in a bit. John Church Hamilton, henceforth referred to as JCH because I’m lazy, was barely twelve when his father was killed in a duel against one Aaron Burr, sir, and he spent his entire adult life dedicated to immortalizing and glorifying his father’s legacy, with a bit of help from Eliza. He published a gigantic stack of seven books that was one huge biography about the life of A. Hamilton. Inside that stack, among many other things, JCH included correspondence between Hamilton and Laurens, some of which had several sentences cut out by scissors. Once again, I cannot 100% deny that they weren’t sexual because the evidence is gone, so I’ll just skim past that bit of lost history and most likely-s. Several theories on what they were about are, raunchy jokes, insults against commanding officers and George Washington that the public would have found unacceptable, and personal information. Since the person doing the censoring was focused on making his father’s legacy seem perfect, he would have cut all of those out. Yeah. I know, that point was pretty weak, but like, wait and hear me out.

(this was getting long so I split it into two paragraphs. Relax thy eyeballs)

So the historical tidbit that really convinced me Laurens and Hamilton were just friends is the fact that JCH, an extremely devout conservative Christian, named one of his sons Laurens Hamilton. Back then, being homosexual was on the same list as bestiality, there even being a word, “buggery,” which could apply to both. Same-sex relationships were considered an unnatural act of lust, and sin, and was regarded as a one-way ticket to hell. (Yes societies were messed up back then, I know) If JCH found evidence of his father had been romantically involved with Laurens, he would have been horrified and disgusted. He would have tried to bury that piece of his father’s life as deeply as he possibly could, most likely erasing Laurens entirely from his father’s history. Instead, JCH admired Laurens, a man he never met, enough to name one of his newborn sons after him, which he wouldn’t have done if he knew Laurens was his father’s lover in a century when homosexuality meant eternal damnation and total societal ruin.

Right, so we’re done with the evidence, feel free to refute me in the comments. Welcome to closing remarks.

So first of all, thanks for reading all of this, I wrote it over the course of two days and not necessarily in order so apologies for the sudden tone changes. The reason I decided to write this is mainly because of all the comment wars I’ve seen started on social platforms by people calling Laurens and Hamilton gay icons and using incorrect evidence they probably got somewhere on the internet and never fact checked. There really just seems to be a lot of historical misinformation in this fandom, including John Laurens being obsessed with turtles and Hamilton having shot at the sky, to name a few examples. Always fact-check stuff you see on the internet. Always. Please, it will save you a lot of migraines. And yeah, now that I’m looking back, this whole argument seems kind of pointless, I mean, they’re dead, who cares what people want to assume? But I just feel like people should be taught the correct historical facts before jumping to conclusions, so I provided some.

At the same time though, if you still feel like Laurens and Hamilton had a thing after reading this, well, that’s your opinion on a historical argument that is, frankly speaking, impossible to prove or undeniably debunk. Honestly, feel free to say that I’m wrong, just stop spreading misinformation. And if my crappy argument, by some miracle, has changed your mind, then just know that there are plenty of people basically confirmed to have been gay from this era in history, *hint hint Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben* so go check them out, they definitely existed.

Alright that is all, thank you, goodbye.