I keep getting obsessive thoughts about needing to cut my left wrist in a very specific spot. I need to watch the blood run down my arm and pool on the floor. Vivid images keep flooding my mind and I can’t make them stop.
About 2 weeks ago my doc reduced my dosage from 12.5 mg olanzapine to 10 mg. I went through the typical withdrawal symptoms that have happened every time I decrease med dosage and eventually they went away. I was back to my normal, non-psychotic self.
Within a week or so I started having very mild hallucinations - mostly just seeing small bug-like shadows darting around or seeing movement in my peripheral vision when nothing is there. I thought it was fine, maybe just a side effect of reducing the dose and that it would go away. Even if it didn’t go away, it wasn’t bothersome enough for me to up my dose again.
Then we get to today and it was almost like my brain was trying to tell me I was going psychotic again, even though I don’t think I really am. I had really bad racing thoughts as well as intrusive thoughts about cutting my arms with a pair of scissors, but I also felt this overwhelming sense of being so physically tired I couldn’t function. I just started staring off into space while my brain constantly yelled at me that something was really wrong, I just didn’t know what.
Has anyone else experienced this? I don’t have a name for it so I don’t even know what to google to see if this is normal or if I should be concerned. I took 2mg Xanax to calm me down, thinking it may be anxiety-related.
Any insight you guys have would be much appreciated. I honestly don’t even know how to explain the intense almost manic-like function of my brain while my body was nearly comatose. It was for sure strange.
For those of you who have gone off your meds, how long did you take them before you attempted to go without them? I honestly think I don’t need them anymore and I keep gaining weight because of them despite being on a GLP-1. I’ve been working with my psych to gradually lower the dose, but she said at my last appt she wants me to stay on 10mg for a good while to see how I do. I just want to be off of them and not have to worry about it.