u/Odd-Nothing-4242

have you seen these misogynistic jokes about women in india

men in india seem so comfortable making "darawni aurat🤣🤣" jokes – mostly educated men on public television or media. i'm convinced this is some sort of propaganda to further the patriarchy because the ideal wives in movies and series are portrayed as husband worshipping homemakers even if the husband engages in microcheating ("pati dev" my ass). any time a woman shows emotions and strays from this concept they are dehumanised to fearful creatures. god forbid a stay-at-home, financially dependent housewife is angry that her husband is too lazy to help with household chores? is that too extreme? like our emotions are a joking matter and we are ridiculed for not being 100% subservient robots. even our periods are brought up so men ignore and delegitimise our normal human reactions to their abuse. most of the time these wives are homemakers anyways, men just view them as a ball and chain because their wives are a hindrance towards their extramarital affairs. i've seen indian content creators make "my girlfriend vs my wife" jokes and genuinely not find themselves to be the common denominator to their wives' unhappiness, which is true in most cases. my father for example, laughs along with these jokes of women being controlling monsters as if he doesn't inappropriately text up his female colleagues while mockingly policing the way my mother (who is already modest) clothes herself – they once had a fight due to it. my mother won't stop fawning over how he is the perfect husband simply because he won't physically cheat. the bar is in hell. i am tired of this sexist behaviour being brushed off as jokes while women suffer in the background from marital r@pe – a highly gendered crime. these men seem so disconnected from reality. men can be pissed off but women are suddenly infantilised when they are.

reddit.com
u/Odd-Nothing-4242 — 5 hours ago
▲ 2 r/gender+1 crossposts

asking gender

hii uh i have a scenario

so say there is this person whom i talk to who looks quite androgynous and has an androgynous name too which kinda leads me to think err what gender do they identify as...

should i ask that person for their pronouns (because i'm worried that if they're trans and i ask them, they'll feel insecure about not passing well for a particular gender enough), or assume (which is also bad because it can lead to misgendering, which may also be triggering)?

is there a less possibly offensive option? can i phrase my question to seem more nice?

i've misgendered a friend before unfortunately (i posted on a gc about everyone being beautiful girls as i went to an all-girls' school, had a person disagree so i confusedly replied that they were indeed beautiful but turns out they are nonbinary. needless to say i felt quite bad because i repeatedly assumed the wrong thing, and especially with the rampant transphobia going on in the media, i don't want to make anyone feel dysphoric and upset).

...which is why i don't want to accidentally repeat the same mistake of unknowingly making an assumption, especially since we talk quite a bit.

thank you ✌🏼

reddit.com
u/Odd-Nothing-4242 — 14 days ago