u/Odd-Pie7972

bored honestly nothing to do kinda feeling off

I often find myself shaking feeling anxious I try to control it nothing really works. I feel empty all the time it doesn’t matter how I talk with I don’t feel like doing anything I keep thinking what should I do to feel better it doesn’t really work. Everything feels like shit

I can’t keep up with anything I’m so tired of everything and everyone rest is so difficult to find when you’ve to keep up with going to university daily you can’t skip a day you can’t take a damm day off pretend daily it’s just all so much

I can’t cry anymore used to do it so often now I can’t even get the tears out my anxiety although has worsened, no matter how much I try I can’t escape my family they’ve been so shitty never left any time to tell me I’m worthless, people in general are so exhausting for me it’s weird I do want to talk but I can’t get myself to talk. I want people but I also want to push everyone away.

Like came here for uni or something?

I’ve always been an quiet person I stick to my own stuff I stay shy mind my business. Growing up I’d say I had a decent start then started the days where I’d hear my parents fighting all the time I would lock my doors and cry, everything would fall apart. Soon I was the one getting the scolding being called a burden, useless, told to kill myself. Then next day act as if it’s all okay. Felt like going through a mad drama house all alone behind my locked doors just a young me trying to figure out what even is going on. I’m 19 now still pretty young honestly I struggle with so many things I become the easy target for people. I have anxiety I shiver badly. I still feel the best behind my locked doors being left alone but it feels lonely but to talk to someone feels scary. Well, that’s all I had to say thank you for reading and have a good day!

I’ve always been an quiet person I stick to my own stuff I stay shy mind my business. Growing up I’d say I had a decent start then started the days where I’d hear my parents fighting all the time I would lock my doors and cry, everything would fall apart. Soon I was the one getting the scolding being called a burden, useless, told to kill myself. Then next day act as if it’s all okay. Felt like going through a mad drama house all alone behind my locked doors just a young me trying to figure out what even is going on. I’m 19 now still pretty young honestly I struggle with so many things I become the easy target for people. I have anxiety I shiver badly. I still feel the best behind my locked doors being left alone but it feels lonely but to talk to someone feels scary. Well, that’s all I had to say thank you for reading and have a good day!

I’m listening to music can’t sleep lol

Growing up childhood was a mess maybe I was too sensitive or maybe it was justified, I can’t tell. I felt everything that was said to me, everytime I was called a burden, or worse. I think I’ve made progress? I don’t find myself crying all the time, I shiver less, I manage myself better (questionable), I was really suicidal around 2 year ago I couldn’t think of anything but dying, these days I feel it again at micro levels perhaps won’t get there. I feel numb, I can’t rant to people, I keep suppressing my emotions as much as I can, maybe I’m convicted that’s the only thing that works or it’s an illusion I’ve. I’m an adult now, but I haven’t accepted adulthood. I don’t know what exactly am I even trying to say. I feel lonely a lot these days. It’s not that I’ve no one to talk to but I feel I can’t connect to anyone properly or if I’m I withdraw myself, it’s almost like being scared. I keep getting attached to unhealthy relations. I hate going to college, I hate interacting with people. I’m an introvert but I do like talking with people. I don’t understand my own pace and behaviour lately. It’s always trying to entertain some sort of a void inside me that I’ve been dealing with since forever. That’s all thank you for reading all that and have a great day! (Well night it’s like 3am) :D

My network name is always just Airtel 5G/4G I never see the Priority/Fastlane Network name never shows up? As far as I know isn’t that something that should be shown in the network name? I’ve the 449 plan. Any ideas or is this normal?