u/Odd-Ring1493

I’ve had anorexia since I was twelve. I’m a lot older now and I had mostly managed to pull myself together. I started eating more several years ago, because I was tired of being physically sick, but eating disorders are a mental illness and I never felt better emotionally. I changed ADHD meds to vyvanse and adderall two months ago. Previously I only stayed on meds for a few weeks at a time due to side effects. The new meds I’ve done really well on though.
All of a sudden I can eat now? I don’t think ED thoughts all day and don’t get overwhelmed by my feelings. I struggled a lot with emotional regulation and I feel things in a really intense way and wouldn’t eat to control that. ADHD meds are supposed to suppress your appetite, but I don’t experience that.
My medical Dr isn’t a fan of the Vyvanse because people with eating disorders aren’t supposed to take it. Does anyone have a similar experience to me? I want to hear from other people. I’m really scared I’ll relapse again like all the other times, but I’m trying to remain hopeful.

I’ve struggled with anorexia and ARFID since middle school and I’m an adult. I feel like most treatment providers think that eating more frequently results in less fear. I’ve never experienced that. I also have a chronic illness, I’m physically disabled and have ADHD and Autism. I think it’s safe to say that the eating disorder treatment system wasn’t made to serve me.

I’m a healthy weight and I’m willing to maintain that and have for a few years. Most providers I’ve worked with think people should be open to gaining weight. Maybe I should be, but I’m not. I’ve also only worked with providers who emphasize intuitive eating which doesn’t work for me. Part of my treatment for ADHD is making a plan to drink water with specific times, because my body doesn’t tell me to do that either. I would benefit from someone who realizes that intuitive eating doesn’t work for everyone.

Has anyone found providers who are more inclusive of disability and neurodiversity? I’m struggling and don’t want to be without support. I also believe I deserve support even though my recovery isn’t perfect.