u/OddCarrot1296

I’ll be flying overseas soon so baby can meet grandparents and we will be staying at my family’s place. My mom sent a message to MIL letting her know that since we will be arriving at midnight that only my sister is picking us up and that MIL and FIL can come over the next day since first day we will be recovering. MIL send this message to SO saying that it’s unfair and that last time I visited (baby wasn’t born) I didn’t show the slightest interest in spending time with her.

She is a person who doesn’t respect boundaries and even when told will keep on doing it. There has been a lot of occasions when she makes me VERY uncomfortable like when she keeps slap my butt despite being told I don’t like it by me and my SO has also talked to her multiple times. Last time I saw her a year ago she commented saying I had a big ass and slapped it, I went off on her and told her that she wouldn’t do that to her daughter and that her son has talked to her to not make comments about my body or slap my butt all this infront of my family, I also told her that if I were to comment on her getting fat and grabbing her stomach she wouldn’t like it. Right after baby was born we where FaceTiming her and she asked my mom how she could resist not kissing baby, my mom told her that because my SO and me had asked her not to and that she was still a baby. She answer by saying that if she was with us she would give her kisses all over even if we had that rule. So now that I’m going and I know she has no boundaries I’m stressed because I feel she will kiss baby on the face and hands even after SO told her multiple times she can’t do it. My mom also told them to come over the day after I arrive at a certain time (2pm) and MIL already told me she will be arriving early so she could spend time by herself with baby since we also invited SIL’s family. She also smokes and I’ve told my SO that when she comes visit if she smells like smoke she won’t be able to carry baby.

I need advise on how I can deal with her if she were to kiss baby in the face and hands, or if she makes more uncomfortable comments, or smells like smoke.

Please help 🥹

MIL has FaceTime my husband everyday to see our daughter since the day she was born.

Anytime we are doing something or are with friends and husband doesn’t answer she will call at least 2 other times to try to get him to pick up. When he does pick up to tell her we are busy she refuses to hand up and starts making a big deal saying she needs to see “her baby”. My husband trying not to be rude will show her quickly and try to hang up but she will start making a big deal and try to talk to our friends or keep telling him that it’s not okay to not show her.

Yesterday husband was out alone and she called but baby was not there. She then called me and I didn’t answer. Today she called me and I also didn’t answer, then she called my mom (who is staying with us to help out during the first 2 months). When my mom picked up first thing MIL said was “finally someone picked up, I need to see my baby since it’s not okay that I didn’t get to see her yesterday”.

What can I do at this point to get her to stop calling so much? It’s gotten to the point where whenever she calls I’ll just give baby to my husband and go do something else since not once since starting this FaceTimes she has asked how anyone else is doing.