u/Odd_Shallot1929

I’m heading to a women’s gathering in Mendocino County that’s outdoors/camping with classes during the day, and some festive gatherings in the evenings and I’m completely overthinking what to wear.

The weather is supposed to be upper 70s during the day but drop into the 40s at night, so I’m trying to balance practical layering with not feeling wildly out of place.

For context, I’m 48 and live in New Hampshire where the default wardrobe is basically:

yoga pants and sweatshirts

skinny jeans and oversized tees

Or younger women in cropped tops, wide leg jeans, and oversized flannels

My personal style is… very not trendy.

I absolutely hate synthetic fabrics, so my wardrobe is almost entirely cotton, linen, merino wool, cashmere, silk, and down. I wear a lot of J. Jill, Eileen Fisher, J. Crew, Born sandals, and Blundstones.

Outside of business clothes, I mostly wear:

wide leg linen pants

tunic style tops

calf-length linen dresses

Linen ankle pants layered underneath dresses

stone jewelry

natural earthy colors like beige, brown, black, white, and coral

All my jeans are wide leg or bootcut, but I’m not really a cropped top person. I usually just do a front tuck with sweaters or shirts.

The overall vibe is probably more “coastal grandma" than festival fashion.

I know Mendocino County has more of a natural/hippie/outdoorsy culture, but I genuinely have no idea what women actually wear and I don’t want to show up feeling frumpy, overly East Coast, or weirdly formal/minimalist.

I’m not opposed to shopping if I’m missing something important, but I do have a massive wardrobe — I just don’t even know what direction to go in. If anyone has examples, outfit ideas, or can describe the general vibe realistically, I’d really appreciate it.

I don't know what's gotten into me lately but after 49 years of being a meek and mild people pleaser I've suddenly found my voice and can give two shits less how anyone feels about it!

Recently my boyfriend, for the 5000 time, got takeout without asking me if I wanted anything. Usually I'd just cook myself something and not saying anything. Well, the other day I hear him leave the house without a word and then comes back with a pizza. *I don't eat pizza*. I lost it on him, told him he was a selfish asshole who only thinks of himself, AND WHY DO YOU LEAVE without saying goodbye? Seriously? He was speechless. So I moved into the guest bedroom where I can kick the covers off the bed and leave the window open without him closing it. Sleep with that selfish asshole.

I have a nasty coworker who is always making rude and belittling comments about me, as if I'm not there, at meetings. For 3 years I let this go on and never said a word. It became normalized. Well she did it yesterday and all hell broke loose. I told her she was a big bully and to stop being so nasty, that I had it and to STOP IT, that I wasn't putting up with it one second longer. She turned beat red, everyone was silent, and I finished it with " You're nice to everyone's face and then talk about them behind their backs." And she fucking said, " I only talk behind your back." "GROW UP!!!" Then my supervisor intervened and that was good because I was going to lose my shit and he knew it. He told me to go on break early. I felt soooooo good afterwards.

Lastly, I have an alcoholic Mom and she's always coming over with a bottle in hand, drunk, demanding and rude. But hey, she is my Mom so whatever, I just dealt with it. The thing is, I'm a recovering alcoholic and everyone respects that and doesn't drink around me -except her. So here she comes, bottle in hand banging on the door drunk again. I let her on and let HER have it and that I didn't want to see or talk to her unless she was sober. The first boundary I've ever set with that woman. I haven't heard from her in 2 weeks. Oh well, I'm not crying over it.

Maybe this is menopause. Maybe after decades of swallowing anger, smoothing things over, and putting everyone else first, the estrogen leaves and so does the tolerance for bullshit. Either way, I’m done shrinking myself to keep other people comfortable.

I'm curious of what the costs are for you all. Mines $250 a month for my boyfriend, waived for me because I use them for other services as well. My testosterone vial is cypionate is $100. Visits are $450.

Does this seem normal.

I'm on 10mgs 2x split weekly. I've only injected twice now. I'm wondering if this is placebo or if my libido could actually come back this quick? Before I took T I hadn't even thought about sex for a year!! It was crazy, I used to LOVE sex!

So what do you all think?