u/OfBothWorlds

Hi, I will start with this. I have been codependent in my life multiple times. I’ve had a boyfriend that started drinking 1.5 y after we started dating, then I had a fiancé that relapsed into drinking 1.5 y after we started dating. Well, now I have a husband, who relapsed into smoking weed a year after we got married.

In between my last relationship and marriage I tried to work on myself. I changed, and I refuse to be put in this position. Well, I’m in this position again. And we have a baby. So it‘s not just me.

Before any of you (maybe not you per se) weed lovers jump to defend him - he’s been an addict his whole teenage years. He has issue with it. He knows it I found out it’s not his first relapse.

We went to therapy, and the lady asked if he has other hobbies. He picked a few this year, but you know, he needs another. Or else he will smoke - glow in the air unsaid. So we went to look for guitars, just to look around. and he picked one and asked, can I have one. For my last birthday. The price tag - 3x the amount he got for his birthday. Ok, I said. I’m not his mother, and this moment felt like a child with a dream that creates an opportunity for his dreams to be crashed. And me feeling drained, why? It got to me the next day. I believe he already smoked his birthday money. it went out in flames. oh, sorry. Not for him. For our family.

So my question is, what do you do. How to support without entangling myself further. Where do I draw lines? Do I try make him accountable? Do I leave it be? I’m just tired. He’s got new hobbies, so I stay even more with the little one. No one takes care of the house. I am drained. He, he is annoyed by these chores, he’d rather smoke weed. So I feel alone with everything.

Hi. My husband recently started smoking weed again. He used to do that from a very young age to early thirties. Along the way he did other drugs and drank alkohol. When we met he was sober for some time already.

A few days ago I found him with our infant in a room smelling of weed. He was taking care of it and I was supposed to be out. I came back to leave some books inside the house after I initially left and said my goodbyes. I was gone for 5–10 minutes. The place reeked and we live in one room apartment. Needless to say, that he had been hiding smoking from me.

I took the baby and left for the night. He’s argument is that he opened the window and puffed outside so it’s fine. I believe that the smell aka fumes could potentially harm the baby. He disagrees and advocates that weed is safe and no one ever died because of it.

Now I would like to ask you, people who do have experience in the subject, what do you think of it? Is it safe to smoke next to a baby, when the window is open? Is the smell of weed the same as fumes? Is it safe for him to take care of the baby alone when high?

He gets medicinal weed with THC 22%. He said that it doesn’t make him sleepy, he just has more fun.

I have no experience with this addiction. Beside the questions I would like to know if there is a way I could support him in this time of struggle. Yet I don’t know how. If you could have support, what would you need from your closest ones?