u/Oghaleb274

Hello

I (34M) am recently single after a 6 years of being out of the market and I would like to get some recent pictures of myself taken in a natural way not a professional photoshoot. Need to have a human element in it.

I am really not photogenic and get really awkward faking smiles in-front of the camera as I really hate having pictures of myself being taken. It does not come naturally to me.

Think of Chandler taking wedding photos from Friends and you should have an idea of what I tend to look like.

Happy to buy you coffee or pay you a reasonable amount if anyone is interested. Feel free to DM me.

I'll be upfront, I don't really do half-measures. In relationships, in life, or apparently in Reddit posts. So here's a longer-than-average one about who I am and what I'm actually looking for.

I'm 34M, based in Haarlem, Netherlands. Been off the dating market for about 5 years after a long relationship and took some time to reset before putting myself back out there. Figured this sub was worth a shot before trying any dating apps.

A bit about me:

I work as a data engineer, come from a background in computer science and psychology, and I'm basically the unofficial therapist and life coach within my friend group. People tend to come to me when things get hard, and I genuinely enjoy that role. I'm analytical, I know my own patterns well, and I own up to my mistakes reasonably quickly, which matters to me more than people might expect.

In my free time I tend to read mostly psychology oriented books, game often, work out, and I’ve recently gotten into 3D printing which is either a hobby or a problem depending on who you ask. Also enjoy drawing and would love to get into woodworking sometime.

Physically I'm 186cm (6’2), brown-skinned, 87kg, train three times a week. Decent shape, not shredded, working on it. Nothing I'm not comfortable saying out loud.

I'm more of a homebody by nature but I do go out every now and then, and I make it to a festival or two a year. I'm passionate and have a lot of ambitions, which can make me intense at times. The flip side is I'll be just as invested in you and your goals as I am in my own.

What I'm looking for:

I'm drawn to women who are comfortable in their femininity, whether that's in how they dress, how they carry themselves, or the warmth they bring into a space. I tend to click better with someone who leans into that side of themselves.

Beyond that, the things that matter most to me are self-awareness, accountability, and someone who has done at least some personal development work on themselves. I want someone who can carry their own weight, not because I won't have your back, because I absolutely will, but because there will be days where I'm running low and I need someone who can step up when that happens.

Attraction matters too, both physical and mental.

What you get:

Someone loyal, trustworthy and genuinely in your corner no matter what. A person who will push you toward your goals and actually mean it. I can be very entertaining and goofy when the vibe calls for it, and I give more than I take, though I'm smart enough not to let that be taken for granted.

The honest cons:

I need peace and quiet from time to time to think and recharge, even if we end up living together. I'm independent and will need some space, that's just how I'm wired. My energy levels fluctuate depending on sleep and work, I work for a large company and it can get demanding. And I'm direct, if I see a negative pattern repeating itself I will bring it up, not to argue, but because I'd rather work through something than let it quietly rot.

We'll get along well if you're someone who likes to move forward, owns up to their mistakes occasionally, doesn't enjoy arguing for the sake of it, and isn't looking for someone to text 24/7.

And finally, I want to be clear that none of this is meant as a rigid checklist. Every relationship is about what actually works between two people, and there's always compromise involved. If parts of this resonate but not all of it, please reach out anyway. I'd rather have a real conversation than filter someone out on paper.

Hello

Recently moved to Haarlem after a big life change and looking to expand my social circle a bit.

I'm 34, work as a data engineer, and I'm into deep conversations just as much as completely stupid ones depending on the vibe.

Some things I'm into: dogs (huge dog person), plants, being outside, the gym, tennis/padel/ping pong, video games, and reading (mostly psychology). I also own a 3D printer and spend way too much time on it, and I've been meaning to get into woodworking for ages but never actually pulled the trigger on it.

I'm basically the unofficial therapist in my friend group, so if you ever need a second opinion or just someone to think something through with, I'm your guy.

What I'm actually looking for: weekend hangs, coffee, drinks, exploring the city, or honestly just someone to go on a walk with. Bonus points if you have a dog, I will absolutely steal it for the afternoon.

Don't really care about age, gender or background. If you're a decent human who doesn't take themselves too seriously, we will get along.

If any of this resonates, just shoot me a message — worst case we grab a coffee and part as acquaintances.