I do not know what to do anymore.
So i have this close friend me (im a dude) and shes someone that i deeply value and care for. no joke if she asked me to get a tattoo id probably do it. but few weeks ago i confessed to her abt two lies that i told. we discussed our differences and she accepted me and we continued being close friends. up until few days ago and i realised that i lied about something else back in the day (maybe 3 months ago was when i lied it. one was a dumb story abt someone which didnt happen i wanted to make them laugh but i just made up a story ) and another thing is that in groupchats i kind of misrepresentated my past, im worried if she thinks abt this. and the thing is im just scared of hurting her. because that lie was told before we got close. but man last time when i confessed and she told me abt how it made her feel just made me so fucken shitty. its not that i won't confess again i will. but the thing is. i just cant do this anymore, shes far too kind and the fact that ive done this just makes me hate myself more than i already do. and another part of me thinks that im draining her. which absolutely sucks. i had a panic attack a week ago. which is embarrassing to admit. and had one today about this. ive never experienced them before but it was challanging. another thing is that me and her are pretty close. i just dont know what to do anymore. i feel like i constantly fuck things up, i am open to advice let me know!