32M with no job. The prime example of failure and disappointment.
I'm a 32-year-old man, and I'm still searching relentlessly for a decent job. I live with my mother, a retired railway employee, and we've been surviving on her pension. Every time I need money, I feel guilty even asking her. I can see the disappointment and worry in her eyes, and that hurts more than anything.
Over the years, I've drifted away from many of my friends because I felt ashamed of where I am in life. Most of them are married, have stable careers, and are moving forward, while my life has been a series of setbacks. I've switched domains, completed numerous certifications, and tried to reinvent myself multiple times, but nothing seems to work. My relatives often use me as an example of "what not to become" when talking to their children. It's humiliating, and honestly, I don't know what to do anymore.
After graduating, I landed a job in a core engineering company, but I lost it when COVID hit. Soon after, my mother contracted COVID, and I spent the next year taking care of her. Once she recovered, I got another opportunity at an MNC through a referral, but after just four months, my uncle became seriously ill due to a doctor's negligence. He was completely bedridden, so I had to leave my job to care for him, which took another one and a half years.
As if that wasn't enough, one of our neighbours illegally occupied part of our land. Fighting the legal battle consumed another six to eight months of my life. After finally resolving everything, I joined a small consulting company where I worked for a year, earning only ₹12,000 a month. That's where I first discovered data analytics.
I decided to take a chance on myself. I resigned, started learning data analytics from scratch, completed multiple courses, and built projects despite having no programming background. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I believed hard work would eventually pay off. Unfortunately, it's been almost two years, and I haven't even been able to clear the interview stage for most jobs.
I specifically searched for remote roles because I wanted to continue taking care of my mother while working. Instead, every recruiter focuses on my career gaps rather than the skills I've worked so hard to build. I know I'm not an expert, and I still have a lot to learn. But if no one is willing to give me my first opportunity, how am I supposed to gain experience?
I've also tried building other sources of income. I attempted dropshipping, YouTube automation, and freelancing through Upwork and Fiverr, but none of them worked out.
Lately, I've started comparing myself to others. Looking at people's portfolios and achievements makes me feel like I'm years behind. After facing rejection after rejection, my confidence has been shattered. I'm exhausted, frustrated, and scared about my future.
I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking for honest guidance. If you've been in a similar situation or can genuinely tell me where I'm going wrong, I'd be grateful for your advice. I still want to believe that things can get better, but right now, I feel completely lost.