u/Ok-Bluebird-9338

I’ve had body dysmorphia regarding my chest for a while now but it seemed to get worse as time goes on

And I don’t mean puberty making them bigger, because when I really started to feel the dysmorphia Ive already had gone through the physical changes of puberty

So I’ve been looking into binders and because of forgetting, money problems, and time problems, I still don’t have any. It’s been well over a year now and I’m really starting to loose it (really, but also figuratively)

I got a swimming binder not too long ago because I have swimming classes and didnt want to skip them

It’s been great! Ive learned to love to swim again, and I feel comfortable in the water. People around me know im trans so im allowed to change in the bathroom instead of the lockers (bonus, it’s a non-gendered bathroom so no extra dysphoria)

But the second I take it off, I hate it so much. I have to physically keep my shirt off my chest because it hurts to see my boobs.

Maybe this is just a bad day i don’t know. I also forgot my shirt so right now im dressed in my sweater waiting to be able to go home which adds a layer of feeling exposed.

To top it all, the more I look down the more I feel like I’m missing *something*. I HAVE NEVER HAD BOTTOM DYSPHORIA. THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT THE TIME TO ADD THIS TO THE LIST.

Just when I was starting to feel confident to TRY and go to the men’s bathroom. (I never actually went, I have social anxiety and I don’t consider myself passing but the thought is there)

Extra bonus: I hate my voice and any time I look at my face or worse my transmasc brother who is around a year on T already, I want facial hair.

So im what I would refer to a more newly therian. I’ve known what therians were for a long time, but only recently started to identify as one.

My family is very open in general, me and my brother are both trans men, and neurodivergence is common between me and my siblings and everyone in my family is very open to both. But theriantropy is very different from accepting that im gay or that im autistic.

I live with my family, parents and siblings, and whenever I do something animalistic like howling, barking (which I usually play off like im simply copying my dog) or playing with our dogs, it’s \*playfully\* laughed at or brushed aside.

I want a mask and I want a tail and paws im tired of feeling that dysphoria. But at the same time, I wouldn’t be able to wear them often because like I said I live in the same house.

The only IRL person who knows is my older brother who im extremely close with. He was fine with it (though im not sure he fully understands what theriantropy is). But I share everything with him too so telling my parents or my young siblings is very different.

To anyone who told people IRL, how did you do it and how did you know(/hope) they were safe?

Additional context, I told my older brother I was a therian when he told me he was a furry, so it was a mutual "coming out" if you will

So little backstory, a few years ago when I first ever learned about therianthropy, it was through TikTok and those wonderful therians with their masks and everything. And then I learned what it meant, and the community. I told myself I was just curious, but then the more I looked and saw those therians looking in their elements in forests and such and with tails and masks, the more I felt dysphoria of myself.

More then once watching those videos literally made me cry:/

I don’t even know what it was, but I recently came back to researching therians, and im a lot more open about this. Not just longing and jealousy at people on TikTok😅

And im noticing the more I talk about it, write about it, learn about it, the more my dysphoria becomes present. Now I can feel my tail almost daily (it makes sitting in chairs hell) but there are good sides, it’s not all bad.

I feel like I understand a new part of myself as someone whos still struggling with his queer identity. And im happy to be apart of such a wonderful community 💖

So I came out as NB a few years ago already to my moms side of the family. My brother had come out as a trans man (he/him) not too long before so I knew they were safe

But over the years I went through a lot of label, both gender and sexuality, and eventually settled on trans man (I’d say around a year if not two years ago already, im very much time-blind 😅). Ive gave away ‘hints’ of identifying as a man recently, but last night i made it clear

We were on the car ride home from a restaurant (I have impeccable timing I know j/) and it was me my mom and my younger sister. We’re talking and eventually the topic comes up to my identity and I start talking about how I identify as a man.

My mom explicitly and repeatedly says she sees me as non-binary because I’m not masculine enough in her eyes. Mostly, she says because she knows im likely to never take testosterone, im non-binary and she doesn’t see me as a trans-man.

I explain that I identify as a fem-boy if anything. I want to be feminine in a way thats femboy, not feminine. But im physically too ‘girly’ to pull that off which is why I stopped wearing dresses.

Im none confrontational and a people pleaser. If I can avoid conflict I will. So I nod and agree. Im not good at phrasing but my mom isn’t rude or forcing any label, shes just struggling to see me as a man because I’m not masculine, this isn’t really against her as shes very comprehensive and tries her best. But it does gets frustrating when she tells other people im non-binary when she knows i dont identify as non-binary:/

Also the difference between me and my brother is that my brother was always even as a kid a ‘tomboy’. People used to call him a boy when we were kids because he’s never been very girly. Plus, he’s been on T for over a year now and he’s passing. Im the opposite.

(Sorry this ended up being longer then I thought 😅)