u/Ok-Caramel-7000

I (28f) am 20 + 6 weeks pregnant. My 2nd pregnancy and this time I get to see how wild hormones really can be.
I have a 5 year old and last night he woke up crying at 2 AM bc his alarm clocks battery had died. My husband usually goes and deals with it and hears it.
Now ive been noticing my sons sounds have already been waking me up easier. I thought thats fair thats my body preparing to wake up for my baby again.
But this time with the crying I felt so stressed the same natural stress you get when your newborn starts crying… and then my damn boobs started hurting … A LOT. My body had somehow decided that my 5 year old needed milk . Mind you ive been leaking since 15 weeks, with my first not till like 32 weeks… my body is acting like my 5 year old is a baby all over again and responding to him like he is a baby and I think thats pretty weird but also pretty amazing what nature does.
Though waking up at 2 am with sore boobs bc my 5 year olds alarm klok died…. Not my favorite

Hey! I’m 28 and a Dutch national but doing this in English as it may get more reach and my english is just as good.

I have moved a lot over the years unfortunately that means my friends are everywhere except here and two years in Delft now and havent made a single (fitting) connection. There are weeks when the only adult I speak with is my husband .
The problem when it comes to making friends for me though is that I have a kid (5) and another on the way. Its also that I moved every freaking year as a kid and that makes it hard for me to understand how to be social well on the longterm. i also get worried that someone doesn’t want to talk to me and struggle to send that first message, something I am working on and actively thinking about these days. The child(ren) in itself isnt an issue as I have tons of mom friends just none in my area. Its finding someone I connect with.
Someone who preferably gardens 💨 🍃
Someone who enjoys a board game
Someone who doesnt take everything too seriously but is also okay with a good debate/ discussion
Someone who just likes to sit and yap for hours
Preferably someone also a little alt

I (28f ) am 20 weeks pregnant with our second child, our first is 5 years old already. Normally mothersdays are ok I at least always get a handmade card. But never without a lot of reminders and as we say here ‘pre chewing’ it for him

This year I’m no contact with everyone in my family now, with good reason. I know its good reason but none the less been feeling alone especially in this pregnancy and knowing I will have to give birth/ have my c section alone this time round. My husband knows this, hes been seeing and mentioned noticing I have been slipping away into a depression.
He also knew when mothersday was and bc I knew his head was full bc hes autistic and theres been a lot of sudden changes recently I spelled it out.
Starting last month I said hey just so you know 10 may is mothersday! Then last week : hey I can give you time alone with A this week I have several appointments to got to maybe you can make something with him bc its almost mothersday’ said this twice last week btw.
He made it clear that he knew when mothersday was as he made me plan my own outing bc that was difficult for him.
Mothersday comes around and NOTHING not even a handmade card.
I know its just a stupid day and I shouldnt complain but I appear to actually be hurt by this and a day later still not over it.

My 5 yo picked up on the vibes (I was crying alot hormones eyy) and made me a drink saying : sorry I didnt know it was mothersday no one told me.

I told him he shouldnt feel bad for his fathers mistake and though didnt feel like going on a day out anymore we went bc my son felt really bad and I didnt want him to so we went and did something he enjoyed.

I told my husband I dont want to celebrate any of these days anymore including bdays bc well especially birthdays have been hard for him even though the past 7 years I have wanted one thing only: a fully planned day out ..
I said if its too hard for him to start even if I remind over and over and over that its just not worth it to me and I dont want it at all bc it hurts more to feel forgotten than to just accept not celebrating it. And though it sounds dramatic I mean it Id rather just focus on the kids.

My husband did apologize and did feel bad after yelling at me for being upset ofc. Bc his heads so full, yes well so is mine not just that so is my belly for the other kid he so desperately wanted ( I want baby too just not as bad as he does) but then again I always get an apology and then nothing changes.

Bc of his autism and hatred for crowds etc 90% vacations and outings I do alone with our son including Disneyland trips. I really try to accept how he is and he can not help it but right now my hormones are winning and I feel lonelier than ever.

I have ADHD myself with a healthy dose of rejection sensitivity added so that’s probably whats got me mostly feeling so dramatic. Which is why I’m ranting here get the drama out so I can go to my 20 week ultrasound in a few hours without shooting daggers at my husband