Tired all the time.
Its a long rant.. sorry.
Growing up i was pushed into situations where I grew up faster than most. I felt like I was ready for adult hood because:
- I took care of myself, my siblings and my cousins at the age of 8.
- I was always alone to deal with stuff
- I learned how to be independent at a young age.
I couldn't wait to be an adult because I thought nothing would change except id get more respect from people.
I get up at 4am to put my laundry in the dryer. Then at 5:30 I put the away. Then breakfast, meal prep for dinner, and travel to school. School ends at 2. I have to leave early to get to work at 1:50. Then its work from 1:50 to anywhere between 8pm-12am. Then I get home, heat up and my dinner, do the dishes, tidy up, then sleep just to do it all again the next day
The worst part is that im killing myself and there's not a single thing in my schedule I can cut out because its all necessary.
School for education
Work for money for bills
House chores to live
The only time I get to myself is the bus rides in-between where I can out on music and just be dead to the world
Im so tired, all the time. Emotionally and physically. If I take my meds, I feel numb. But if I dont.. its the dark thoughts. There's no in between.
And I know "welcome to adulthood". Ive heard it before, and I'll probably hear it 1000 more times.