u/Ok-Engine-9294

Hi, has anyone experienced a quieting of the critical inner voice, anxious thoughts and general anxiety?

Anyone on valdoxan for depression, anxiety and related performance anxiety? Just was just prescribed, interested to hear stories.

Hi, I’m 35 and queer, and have cptsd from religious childhood trauma, conversion therapy and parents who constantly told me I wasn’t enough. I’ve always felt a sense of hopelessness and self hatred due to what I can now identify as a guilt, shame spiral, which I’m working through with a therapist and starting my emdr journey. I’ve been recently prescribed valdoxan due to sleep issues and depression, has anyone had any experience getting some relief from valdoxan for my set of issues? I also wonder if the valdoxan will flatten out my emdr experience and inhibit progress there…

Thanks!

Hi, I’m 35 and queer, and have cptsd from religious childhood trauma, conversion therapy and parents who constantly told me I wasn’t enough. I’ve always felt a sense of hopelessness and self hatred due to what I can now identify as a guilt, shame spiral, which I’m working through with a therapist and starting my emdr journey. I’ve been recently prescribed valdoxan due to sleep issues and depression, has anyone had any experience getting some relief from valdoxan for my set of issues?

Hi, I was having sex with a fwb, I wanted him to cum in my mouth. Usually he would cum in my ass but this time he wanted to prioritize what I wanted… I assumed he’d jack off and cum in my mouth but he wanted to fuck me until he was close and then shoot his load in my mouth while I let sucking. I had read somewhere that that was unhygienic… and so I had that in my head, so I asked if he could get close, wash and then jack into my mouth. Which he was kinda a bit shocked by I guess and said “well I’ve been kissing you after eating your ass”. I think it killed the mood a little but we proceeded and he had a really intense orgasm in my mouth… but it got me thinking, what’s the go here? I take his point but it feels like there’s a slight difference of deep penetrated dick… I had also noticed a normal amount of speckled discharge on the sheets. Thoughts?

This might not be the place, but I'm feeling quite raw. How would you receive this? (In a fwb situation who has a 15 year open relationship)

Dear ____,

I want to thank you from the outset for your kindness. For showing me kindness when my body didn't work or when I was in my head. I think about that time in Byron and our time since, and I smile at the moments which are small but have meant a lot to me. Those first moments when we meet after a time apart and we're finally together again, where our bodies seem to magnetize together. The smirks, small kisses and licks during moments of passion. Lying on your broad chest as we rest, listening to music you want to share. Then there are the moments when you've held me as I've shared a lot of the pain I have with you. Hearing you talk freely about your childhood. I really value those exchanges.

I think I'm learning from therapy, from elders and from yourself, that I don't have to be anything else but me. I deal with a lot of issues of self-worth, and I've been propping myself up for a long time, and it's lonely and isolating. This hyper-independence has gotten me this far, but I'm feeling quite weary from it. The facade feels tired and belonging to a different me.

I'm conscious that we're only really friends within a context. Lovers within a context. We know each other within a context. It's a context I'm intrigued by and attracted to, but it's limiting because I think I want to be known fully, to know you on a deeper level. But that context, in this form, is limiting.

I want to hear about the annoyances of life, your stubbed toe, your annoying co-worker, the way the price of eggs is pissing you off. I want to know that your depression is flaring up today and you need someone to just sit with you in a park for a while. I want to lay your head in my lap and scratch your head and play with your hair until things seem a little better. I want to hear about your pain, what you're looking forward to, what you're dreaming about. I want to hold your hand.

All of this probably alludes to the fact that I've caught feelings, hahaha, I've broken rule number one of the friends-with-benefits thing. Alas, I don't think I'm cut out for the casualness of aspects of modern gay dating. I've tried to date casually outside of our time together, but I find myself thinking about you, about when I'll see you next, how you would do this or wouldn't do that. I've tried to be aloof, but I'm not good at playing it cool. I'm an earnest person, probably to a fault. It leaks out in my art, and I wear my heart on my sleeve with those who I've let in. I guess this letter is another form of letting in and letting go…

I know your life is full, relationships and connections of all kinds, built over years. I can't begin to imagine what 15 years of partnership holds for someone. But I hope to find out one day. To meet those challenges, meet that love with abandon and to give my heart, and soul fully.

I'm so grateful that I met you.

I hope this wasn't too painfully cringe to read hahaha. Again, earnest to a fault. But it feels right.
I guess that's it really. I'll see you when I see you.

Love you lots centaur-man,

____.

As title says. I’m a 35M vers guy and use Cialis. I just can’t seem to cum with partners and it’s getting really frustrating.

When topping, I can get hard, fuck, and make the bottom cum, but I can’t even jack myself off and finish after I pull out. I usually end up losing my erection and chafing myself trying. It’s disappointing for them and it’s starting to give me anxiety about sex.

When I’m bottoming, I’m hard during foreplay, kissing, etc., but once penetration starts I tend to lose my erection. While getting pounded, I get waves of tingling sensations and it definitely feels good, but I’m not sure if it’s a prostate orgasm because there’s no real sense of “climax” (not talking about ejaculation specifically).

I’m seeing a FWB who really wants to see me cum. In the 2 years we’ve been seeing each other, I’ve only cum once and that was after he came inside me and stayed in while cuddling. Somehow I managed to get hard again and jerk myself off, but it’s never happened again, and I’m kind of desperate to replicate that experience with him and with other men.

Recently, we had a session where we fucked for a while and he got close multiple times, but kept trying to center my pleasure instead. I told him I love tasting a man’s load, so eventually he jerked off and came in my mouth, which actually got me hard. But after he recovered from his orgasm and the focus shifted back onto me, I couldn’t maintain my erection. Thankfully it just ended in a mildly awkward conversation and cuddles.

Is this what delayed ejaculation is?

For context, I grew up in the church and experienced CPTSD from religious conversion therapy. I’m working through it in therapy, but I’m wondering what else I can do outside of that. My therapist said it’s a bit of a paradox: I’ve turned sex into a chore, but pleasure requires relaxation and trying to “force” relaxation just creates more pressure.

I try breath work and clearing my mind during, going back to sensation, but intrusive thoughts come up constantly and I feel a lot of pressure to perform, even though my current partner has consistently reassured me he doesn’t expect anything from me. When I have sex scheduled, I abstain for jacking off/ and do not watch porn.

(Not taking anti depressants, normal T levels)

Please help…