u/Ok-Firefighter-336

Mom with AUD reached a breaking point and needs professional treatment

My mom has been abusing alcohol for years now, despite gradual escalation of consequences and the immense pain it brings her children.

Recently, it has been absolutely nightmarish. I don’t want to go into details because it is too painful but she nearly got herself killed, could have hurt someone else, and abused my sister (the only person at home in the time) before passing out.

In the past, my siblings and I have always followed up on these episodes reiterating how much we love her and the need for professional treatment. She usually gets defensive, angry, or weepy.

The recent episode was so horrific though I think she actually is starting to recognize how serious this is. We talked for a long time about it. She never ever had deliberately harmed any of us in the past (our dad was abusive and she was the only one we could count on). But now, when she gets drunk, she becomes so cruel. I think she’s scared of herself. My siblings and I are exhausted, angry, concerned, and deeply hurt.

I don’t want to lose momentum with her now and need advice on what treatment she can get. These are the factors we’re working with:

1. She has a full time job and cannot take significant time off (she does have some medical leave saved though)
2. She is extremely resistant to things like AA, because she feels shame
3. She prefers the most private option possible
4. She has great health insurance through her work (which is a big reason why she can’t take off work)
5. She is a deeply depressed person (abandoned by her father, her mom was just a teen when she had her, grew up extremely poor, was in a decades long relationship with our abusive dad, her child \[my sibling\] with schizophrenia recently attempted suicide, she has almost no time to herself because her job does not follow a regular schedule and is exhausting)

TLDR: Need advice on what professional help is most practical for my mom based on the above conditions. Experience with different medications especially helpful (and how you got them prescribed).

Also any advice on how to get her into therapy (which she has been resistant to in the past because of the time commitment and her lack of faith in therapists)

My mom has been abusing alcohol for years now, despite gradual escalation of consequences and the immense pain it brings her children.

Recently, it has been absolutely nightmarish. I don’t want to go into details because it is too painful but she nearly got herself killed, could have hurt someone else, and abused my sister (the only person at home in the time) before passing out.

In the past, my siblings and I have always followed up on these episodes reiterating how much we love her and the need for professional treatment. She usually gets defensive, angry, or weepy.

The recent episode was so horrific though I think she actually is starting to recognize how serious this is. We talked for a long time about it. She never ever had deliberately harmed any of us in the past (our dad was abusive and she was the only one we could count on). But now, when she gets drunk, she becomes so cruel. I think she’s scared of herself. My siblings and I are exhausted, angry, concerned, and deeply hurt.

I don’t want to lose momentum with her now and need advice on what treatment she can get. These are the factors we’re working with:

1. She has a full time job and cannot take significant time off (she does have some medical leave saved though)
2. She is extremely resistant to things like AA, because she feels shame
3. She prefers the most private option possible
4. She has great health insurance through her work (which is a big reason why she can’t take off work)
5. She is a deeply depressed person (abandoned by her father, her mom was just a teen when she had her, grew up extremely poor, was in a decades long relationship with our abusive dad, her child [my sibling] with schizophrenia recently attempted suicide, she has almost no time to herself because her job does not follow a regular schedule and is exhausting)

TLDR: Need advice on what professional help is most practical for my mom based on the above conditions. Also any advice on how to get her into therapy (which she has been resistant to in the past because of the time commitment and her lack of faith in therapists)

I was on loloestrin fe for one year and my boobs grew a ridiculous amount, maybe 2 cups (small b to a d maybe?), without my overall body weight increasing. The worst part is that my left boob is so much bigger than the right one and my chest looks cross eyed. They were never that asymmetrical before.

I stopped taking bc a little under three months ago and the only thing that has changed is that my boobs don’t hurt all the time. The size has stayed pretty much the same.

I know it sounds silly but this is really taking a toll on my self esteem and body image. I hate that I just started taking the pill not thinking it would affect me this way and now it has and I hate my body. Like I really did all that just so that my partner and I didn’t have to use a condom??? It seems so ridiculous now that I see the actually consequences. And I realize that breasts can naturally grow on their own (I’m 22) at this stage of my life but the changes were so dramatic and rapid that it’s hard for me to believe that this would have happened if I didn’t start BC.

Part of me is still hoping they might go back down but it seems unlikely. I’ve had two periods so far since stopping BC (40ish days apart - I had longer cycles before starting BC so this isn’t totally unusual but I assume they will get closer together as my body regulates).

I’m just so angry with myself and my body and I wish they would go back to before because I feel so uncomfortable and self conscious now. I look crooked and wonky, and it feels like I’m not in my own body anymore. I can’t afford a breast reduction and doubt insurance would cover any of it because it’s just an aesthetic choice and not medically necessary.

Can anyone share any advice they have for dealing with this or share their own experience??? I’m really distraught.