u/Ok-Particular-8928

I identify with this Aesthetic very much but I don’t know what to call it… inspired heavily by my southern boomer grandparents.

21f Right Hand Dominant

I am posting but intending to delete because I genuinely have no idea where else to get any kind of input.

I am living with my boyfriend and three other roommates as of right now. Only my boyfriend’s name is on the lease (our landlord is very lax on what goes on in the property.) I am pretty sure my boyfriend has a hoarding problem as he was raised in a very poor environment and holds onto things. He doesn’t do laundry or dishes and he has some junk lying around usually. We both work but he pays my share of the rent so I usually accommodate by doing chores and picking up. I have voiced some frustrations in the past about things especially the accumulation of junk (old PCs, wires, cables, tvs) because he tells me not to get rid of them. We live in a small house and the attic is packed with things already with no garage so they started taking up the common areas.

When I woke up at 10 AM he told me with 1.5 hour notice that we were having guests, so I tried to pick up whatever mess was around as quickly as possible (my room included.) When they showed up, we still had dirty dishes and big things all over the ground and surfaces were still cluttered. I felt crazy embarrassed having guests with our house like the video. Usually I am understanding of messiness (I have ADHD) but it is only contained to my room at any given time. However many of the problems are difficult for me to handle entirely by myself. For example, today our entire kitchen table was full of vegetables from the garden with some of them presumably not good to eat anymore. I asked my bf to put them somewhere but the only option would have been our outside deep freezer if it wasn’t literally overflowing with food and random shit and water from the covering being moved. All I could do was leave them and throw the bad ones away.

To add onto this the three other roommates are unemployed and stay home all day every day. They still make rent from their savings or other things but do barely anything else. I just finished my degree and I work 30 hours a week alternating nighttime and daytime and I miss my home being functional. Yes, I could do more— I could always do more. But it never ends.

It really became overwhelming today when I saw our guests trying to get around the things on the floor and not being able to set things on the coffee table.

What is the reasonable way to handle this situation? Should I demand more from my roommates? Should I just try to control what I can? In a couple months we are going to all move to a bigger place and I will have my own room but it is starting to feel like I don’t want to wait that out.

TLDR; I am living with my boyfriend with hoarding tendencies and multiple roommates and I am starting to feel like I don’t have any control over the mess.