Demissexual and Menage
I am demisexual and in a relationship with a bisexual person. Our relationship works extremely well; we’ve been together for a long time, and I feel very comfortable with her. Recently, I became curious about acting out a *ménage à trois* fantasy. We met a girl—she was beautiful, and I liked her personality. I thought that, combined with the turn-on of the fantasy itself, that would be enough to sustain the experience. However, it wasn't enough to maintain my arousal, and I ended up feeling terrible about having sex without actually feeling sexual attraction. For my girlfriend, it’s natural to feel attraction based purely on desire, but that isn't the case for me. After that unpleasant experience, we sat down and had a long talk; she told me that if it happens again, she’ll follow my pace and let things unfold only when—and if—I’m comfortable. My question is: do you think this approach is viable? Do you think a *ménage* is something a demisexual person can explore? Has any other demisexual person done something like this? Do you have any advice for a demisexual person wanting to act out this fantasy in a healthy way?