Need a lil motivation
As I said in my last post I got to know about me being HIV positive on 24th june, 2026, so far my worst day ever. It had a great effect on my personal, social and professional life.
To let yk, I'm in a profession where lies in a sector where I need to be medically fit all the time and till this point I don't know how hiv is gonna affect my career, tho I'm being optimistic about it. I clearly hope it doesn't end my career in this field. It's my dream job, I did too much hard work for this job, years of work, education loan and everything hanging on a thin line. Tbh I'm freaking scared but idk what to do.
If I say my personal life, it's divided into two parts, family and love. I gathered all my courage and told it to my mother, she was too supportive, but she isn't accepting the fact that this is not curable, yeah it's suppressable ( idk if it's a word or what but at this point Idgaf) and that hurts. She's believing in god that he can take it back and all, but tbh this has shattered my faith, I'm in a position to accept what he did to me is right or wrong. So I'm just neglecting the whole existence.
Secondly my love life, as I expected it would be after I told it to them. We were so happy, never been so happy. For the first time I felt something like that, and it was snatched away from me. Tbh I'm avoiding social media, seeing all those reels of couples and all make me feel bad about myself. I could have the same life, without worrying about anything, without worrying about my job, my career, my family my love, anything.
I'm scared, angry, sad idk what I'm feeling. I'm trying to be cool in front of my mum, but ik it's hurting deep down.
Ik I'm normal, but all these fucking thoughts are making me think I'm abnormal or something and that's all because of me. I ruined it for myself. I'm the culprit and no fucking right to be a victim here. I'm sad.
I can't say this at home, and wanna let it out somewhere, I think this is the best place to let it out where I can get some info and talks from fellow friends that'll lighten my mood