u/OkNeck4961

Her and I have followed each other on TikTok since October 2025, it was only until December 15th that we started texting back and forth. After a few weeks of that we made plans to see each other and after that first hangout I can tell that she was going to be someone that I wanted a future with. This would be my first real relationship/experience.

We grew closer to each other and got comfortable so quickly, she was my first everything and even though I wasn’t her first boyfriend I was a lot of her firsts as well. Ever since then we’ve been together as an unofficial couple, going on dates, sleepovers, getting closer to her family and her getting closer to mine.

Things were finally falling into place for me and we both agreed that we’d be an official couple soon. But things didn’t fall into place for her, if anything things went completely left.

A stressor came into her life that made her realize that a relationship isn’t what she should be focusing on at the moment. She told me she needs to focus on life and that she wasn’t happy. She said it’s her and I have nothing to do with that. She wants to be friends until she’s ready, she says that if she were to get into a relationship it would be with me, but she doesn’t know when that is, and doesn’t want me to feel pressured to wait too long.

With all that being said she still would like to do the things we did like hangouts going to each others house and just doing things like we used to, minus the romantic stuff.

I asked her if it was me that she didn’t want a relationship with, she said no I don’t want one in general. If I’m in a relationship it’s going to be with you. “I’ll be so sad if it isn’t you but I don’t want you to feel pressured waiting on me”.

I’m so scared I’m going to completely lose her, I love this girl with all my soul and she says she loves me. It’s so hard because from the moment we saw each other for the first time we knew we weren’t just “friends” we kissed and other things. So seeing her as a friend now is just so difficult and this situation has just made me so depressed I can’t eat and I can barely sleep.

She said her mind can change and I’m just hoping to god it does, relatively soon.

Any constructive feedback would be appreciated.

Me (M20) and her (F20) have been talking since mid December, we followed each other on TikTok since October but never exchanged words until December 15th. We talked for a few weeks before eventually meeting up to go hangout for the day. This is my first time seeing her in person and hanging out with her and I could already tell that I wanted something more with her. We bonded so closely and got so comfortable with each other so quickly. This would be my first real relationship/experience

Up until now things were going great, I was just about to make her my official girlfriend after both of us putting it off for months. I was so excited, I was waiting for this day to come I wanted nothing more than to make her mine and continue to grow along side her. Her talks about the future made me so happy and motivated, this is all I wanted in a girl. But recently she had a wake up call.

I was at her house as per usual and things felt a little off but I didn’t really know. A couple days following that she told me how she was thinking bad things, things that she shouldn’t be thinking about. It rose my anxiety so high I had to ask her. After some issues that are going on in her life took a toll on her, she told me that she isn’t ready for a relationship.

We’ve done things up to this point as if we were a couple and now I’m feeling depressed, lost, scared the whole deal. She said that she isn’t ready for a relationship after everything building up to it, but she says that once her stressors are out of the way and we focus on us individually as a person until she is ready. She said she wants to be in a relationship with me, just not now; and that if she were to get into one it would be with me. I just don’t know how true that is. She wants to stay friends and come over my house to hangout and still do the things we did minus the romances and not as often.

I’ve grown so attached to her and we’re not leaving each other completely, I don’t know how to handle this. She’s told me that she loves me and I really hope it stays that way. But the way things are in her life she just isn’t happy, and doesn’t want to have to stress about a relationship. So we’re friends until further notice.

I just don’t know how to deal with this, I love this girl with all my soul but we aren’t the first thing that’s on her mind. At the moment she thinks it is too much of a commitment getting into a relationship and I’m scared I’m going to lose her even further.

Any thoughts you guys have would be very appreciated.