I’ve been told i need spiritual help
Hi so this will be a bit of a long post touching on a few different things. So growing up my mum and my siblings all had strange ‘experiences’ except from myself with spirits or energy or something out there basically messing with them both good and bad Anyways i never really had anything until i was about 13/14 i started to get this overwhelming sense of anxiety that something really bad was going to happen. It kind of overtook me from that point onwards. I had quite bad anxiety going out and was always quite on edge and when alone hated really loud noises as i felt like it would ‘wake something up’. A few years later and i had the overwhelming sense that i was going to die when i was 18, couldnt tell you what by or how but i just knew that something really bad was going to happen. I was 14 and convinced that i wasnt going to do my GCSE’s (didnt end up doing them due to covid happening when i was 16). I used to get really bad sleep paralysis, and constant reoccurring dreams of my death in different places in different timelines but it was me in a different life not my current. I also really struggled to sleep, it wasnt because of fear of the dreams because at this point id sort of accepted what was going to happen, but those hours beforehand like when in bed with the lights off and it was quite i felt an overwhelming feeling that something was with me. I used to swear i would see something out the corner of my eye or something brush behind me but nothing would be there. Anyway i turned 18 in the february, nothing happened but i essentially felt like during that year i was going to die, didnt overtake my life because as i said i had accepted it at quite a young age. Every single thing pointed to it being me who died, no one else around me. In the June of that year i was on a drive and kept seeing dead animals everwhere, felt that horrible feeling again and called my mum and one of my siblings to check that they were okay, they were. 4 days later at 6am i was on my way to work and saw one of my other siblings walking towards me, she was really upset and we had a quick chat and i told her to come over after my shift. Again felt a bit of a weird feeling like i shouldve called my mum and told her or told my sibling to go to my house. I got on with work and about 2 hours later got a call that my sibling had been hit by a car(from continuing her journey where i saw her)and taken to hospital by air ambulance, in an induced coma. We all rushed to the hospital, and she passed away 3 days later. Since then i havent had that feeling anymore, i feel like something either good or bad was fucking with me in those years and i dont know whether i interpreted what i was feeling wrong (and thought it was going to be me who died) or whether something was purposefully deciving me so that i didnt think it would be anyone else. I can now sleep completely fine, havent had the dreams or the sleep paralysis, occasionally i have that feeling when going down a random road ive never been down before or i feel something behind me but nothing in comparison to what i did before. I’ve never really told anyone too much about this as my familys very ‘we dont speak about our feelings’. I told a close family friend a few days ago and she said she thinks i need spiritual help, i have been to the doctors for reference and i do not have any type of bipolar, psychosis or anything. I just cannot work out what this was for the life of me and am now feeling concerned i may be being deceived again into a false sense of security and safety. Its been 3 years today since this she passed. I am a strong believer in reincarnation as i feel i have been here many times before, and i believe that our souls pass onto different bodies in different lifetimes. Has anyone been through this before? Does anyone have any advice?