WIBTA if I don't hang out with my friend when she's exhausted with the kids?
I’m a single mom of two young kids. My kids have a sleepover with my parents every week.
A friend of mine is married and has twins. She asked if she and the kids could come over for dinner because her husband is being deployed and will be gone for six weeks. She’s having a really hard time solo parenting the twins.
Would I be the asshole if I said no to the night she asked to hang out? I really need a break, but she told me she’s feeling awful and depressed. She doesn’t have family nearby or anyone else to help.
I feel for her, and I know she’s struggling, but I also feel like because I’m always parenting my own kids alone, I don’t want to spend my one night off co-parenting someone else’s kids.
On the other hand, she and her husband have us over for dinner once a month, specifically so I don’t have to cook or do anything. They’ve been part of my support system, and I know they would help me if I needed it.
I know American culture can be pretty individualistic, with a lot of emphasis on boundaries and looking out for yourself rather than relying on a community. I’m struggling with where to draw the line between setting a reasonable boundary and actually being part of a village. I don’t think I can expect to have a village around me if I’m never willing to sacrifice anything for the people in it.
So, WIBTA if I said no because I really need my night off?