u/Ok_Can1710

So I had a teddy bear when I was 4 years old, I had it right up to I was 11/12 (now 23). My mother threw it out as it was no longer washable the stuffing and everything was going on it. It was one of those bears where back then I couldn’t sleep without it and if it was missing I would be hyperventilating crying that much over it until it was found🤣 it came into my head and wanted to repurchase it last night spent hours and hours trying to find the exact same bear and can’t find it on any website (UK) but I have found 2 similar pics.

The bear had like a woolly stringy like fur, the head if the bear was abit bigger than the body, the nose was brown and sewed on not like most bears you get now. if anyone knows where I can get this bear would be highly appreciated I’ll show 2 similar pics of the bears in the comments and link the websites with the similar bears but not the exact one. I know I’m being picky sorry it’s just to relieve the childhood to have this bear

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1718664831/build-a-bear-workshop-babw-18-tan-shaggy

https://www.teddytailor.co.uk/how-to-measure-your-bear

Sorry for the really long story but I don’t know what to do or how to make up to everyone

I don’t know why anytime I go to my home town I end up with her she does nothing good for me, all my other friends and boyfriend try to influence me to stay away from her which I have but anytime I go back to my home town it’s the same story over and over again. Back to the story I went to visit my mother yesterday I moved half an hour away and work full time and also don’t drive so use the busses (with very limited times they have running) and the very odd weekend when I see her and my siblings. My brother asked me to go to the bar with him (he’s autistic and this is what he likes to do on the weekends as he doesn’t associate with anyone during the week and can’t work due to his other disabilities) so we head out to the bars a band is playing I’m speaking to old friends + my brother and they ask me if NAME can come out and wanted to ask me first as they knew me and this person at times didn’t see eye to eye (I’m a people pleaser and do anything to avoid confrontation me and this person never fell out but I tried to distance myself from said person for multiple reasons will state the reasons later) I say ok and that they do not need to ask me if they want her out I won’t complain and I’m not going to say who they can and cannot hang out with.

Said person comes into the bar and sits right beside me from the get go I knew the night wasn’t going to end well. To sum her up as a person she can do no wrong and everyone is at fault and if you confront her she will tell everyone who will listen about your past and all the bad things you’ve done. So the night goes on and she’s asking me over and over if I wanted to do drugs in the bathroom I tell her no I’ve moved on and don’t do it anymore. I’m getting drunker and drunker and she keeps asking over and over this was within the space of 2 hours after that I gave in (yes I’m disgusted in myself over the head of it and also partly the reason why I feel guilty) I was meant to be getting the bus back home it was the last one so also informed the people I’m out with that I will be going home at 11:30. I lost track of time but I noticed this person kept checking their phone so many times and then asked me to come to the toilet with her, I go to the toilet but I notice she’s trying to keep conversations going and we end up in the toilet for about half an hour I loose track of the time and come out to check my phone and notice I only have 5 minutes to walk up to the bus before it arrives *it’s a 15 minute walk* I’m stressing out as I have nowhere to stay and attempt to walk up as I’m half way up the bus passes me I try to wave it down but it drives on.

I go back to the bar and she’s smiling ear to ear happy that I can stay out I’m physically stressed as I’m now stranded and I have nowhere in my mother’s house I can stay. She says to me that I can stay at hers but I quickly shot that down as anytime I did stay at hers in the past it was just her trying to convince me to do drugs with her or drink all night. I go to the bathroom to have a quick cry to myself over how stressed I am and annoyed at myself for missing this bus. I go back out and they mention about heading to another bar I go to with them but obviously in a worse mood as it was getting later and no one was responding to me when I was asking for lifts home. I then start asking other people that I’m out with if I can stay over at theirs and sleep on their sofa as I really don’t want to stay at said persons house but they all decline and say they have to be up early or aren’t staying at their own house. The night ends the bars are closed and I end up having to stay at this persons house.

As expected it went the way it did and while I was staying at her house she kept asking questions about my other friends and just talking badly of them and how she doesn’t understand how I’m friends with them since “they all fucked her over” they didn’t fuck her over they just voiced up what this person has done wrong and she didn’t like that hence why they all fell out with her. I feel so embarrassed to say but I can never do that I don’t know why I’m such a door mat I do state that I didn’t like her talking about them like that and changed the subject but she kept going on and on. I try to go to sleep but she’s getting irritated and me now

I wake up and ask her mother to leave me to the bus and that’s the first thing I did didn’t even say bye to her. As I’m on the bus my phone starts blowing up from everyone I found out by answering a few of the phone calls that she got into my phone and paused my location on life 360 and Snapchat and also muted my phone so I wouldn’t wake up to anyone ringing me. I’m obviously pissed and can’t tell anyone that I was at said persons house as everyone would literally fall out with me even if I gave the reasonings so I kept it to myself I go home and my boyfriend’s really annoyed and angry at me. I understand completely why he is annoyed and went up to the bedroom to cry as I’m so annoyed at myself for even letting this happen and feel extremely guilty.

I apologise to my boyfriend and my friends for making them worried about me and promised it won’t happen again. And I was also was bawling my eyes out not that it makes it any better I didn’t want sympathy from him or anything I just felt so bad for what I’ve done to him and my friends for letting this happen and I can’t even tell them. The girl has been and will always be blocked on everything so she has no way of contacting me and I don’t want her to contact me I don’t know why I’m such a walk over and can never stand up to her it’s so embarrassing I’ll state everything what she’s done in the comments as I don’t want this to go on any longer and it’s so embarrassing why I’m like this why can’t I stand up to anyone why can’t I be like my other friends. I’m scared of her exposing my past I’m scared of the dangerous accusations and rumours it’s just the way she is maybe that’s why I’m like this today

Me and her was on and off friends for 10 years in the 10 years she has done the following (yes you can judge me you are allowed to because I’m judging myself) I don’t know why I let her do all this to me and I still can never ever do that to anyone let alone her I’m not like that and I’m so embarrassed I let myself get treated this way