u/Ok_Cod_3249

I've come to just accept that it might never get better than this. I've come a long way since my diagnosis - stable career, good friend group, fit and healthy, (relatively) mentally stable...It's easy to want more out of my life and to seek more improvement. But there are pieces that I'll never be able to put together, and I've come to accept that. I'll never be in a functional relationship, I'll never know what it's like to love without fear, I'll never get rid of the emptiness. I'd rather be alone than hurt more people, and that's okay. Not every life can be full of joy and happiness. It's okay to settle for the mundane. I'm pretty damn proud to have made it to "mundane", given where I was four years ago. There's a certain type of peace in accepting that I can't fix it all. While it's good to strive for growth and improvement, I'll never be who I want to be in my head. But I can accept who I am right now.