u/Ok_Evening_6496

I’m a 32-year-old F , and I’m feeling really confused and would appreciate some honest advice.
I’ve known the man I’m planning to marry for about two years. Our families have met, and our wedding is planned for October.
Throughout our relationship, he has always come across as honest and transparent. He’s shared his struggles and vulnerabilities with me, which made me trust him even more.
Early on, I asked him about his past relationships with women. He told me there was nothing significant, and I didn’t ask any further questions.
A few days ago, we were having a conversation, and I mentioned that marrying someone who had been intimate before marriage would be a very big issue for me personally. He went quiet, and a few days later he admitted that he had been intimate with someone about six years ago.
When I asked why he didn’t tell me when I first asked, he said that in Islam we’re encouraged not to expose our past sins, and that’s why he didn’t disclose it. He said that once he realized this was a major issue and a potential dealbreaker for me, he felt he had to be honest.
Now I’m struggling with a lot of emotions. I’m shocked, hurt, and confused. Part of me understands his reasoning, but another part feels like I wasn’t given the information I needed when I asked directly. I keep wondering whether this was dishonesty or whether he was genuinely trying to follow Islamic teachings.
I don’t know if I’m more upset about his past or about the fact that I only found out after two years, when we’re so close to getting married.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? If you were in my position, would you continue with the wedding or step back? I’d really appreciate respectful advice, especially from people who understand both the Islamic perspective and the importance of trust in a marriage.

I’m 32F, from an Arab background, living and working in the UK. My family is in the Middle East. I’ve been in a relationship for 1.5 years with a 34M British Muslim. We’re both well educated, have stable careers, and are very aligned in values, religion, and outlook on life. We understand each other well and accept each other’s strengths and flaws.

The issue is his family is completely against our marriage, and the only reason they’ve given is our different ethnic backgrounds. There are no other concerns. He has tried multiple times to talk to them, and even involved an imam to mediate, but they haven’t changed their minds in over 10 months—in fact, they seem more resistant over time. The main influence seems to be his older sister, who strongly affects his mother’s opinion.

He has suggested we get married without his family’s consent since their reason isn’t valid. However, my family would never accept a proposal from a man without his family’s involvement.

I feel stuck between both sides. I don’t want to lose a good relationship, but I also don’t want to enter a marriage that starts with family conflict or without my family’s support.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it, and what would you advise?