My wife cried because I booked the trip we always talked about without her
My wife and I have talked about going to Japan since we were dating. For almost 12 years it has been our one day trip. One day when work slows down. One day when we have more money or when the kids are older. Last month my best friend asked if I wanted to go with him and two other guys next spring. At first I said no because Japan was supposed to be me and my wife. Then I brought it up to her and she immediately said we could not afford it and it was selfish to even think about. I dropped it or I thought I did.
A week later my friend sent the itinerary again and I just stared at it for a long time. I am 39. My dad died at 58 after putting everything off for later. I keep hearing his voice in my head saying he would travel after retirement but he never made it there So I booked it. I told my wife last night. I expected her to be annoyed about the money. I did not expect her to cry. She said I took our dream and made it mine. She said every time we talked about Japan, she pictured us there together and now the first version of that memory will be me sending her pictures from a trip she was not on. I told her I did not mean it that way. I said I was tired of waiting for a perfect time that never comes. She said I made the perfect time impossible by going without her first.
Now I feel like garbage but also part of me is angry because if I had waited nothing would have changed. There would always be another bill, another reason. I do not want to live my whole life inside maybe someday. Did I ruin something important by booking it or is it okay to stop waiting for someone even when that someone is your spouse?