u/Ok_Speech_5180

For me, it's been being forced to realize how different the real world is from the pampered, sheltered world of the cult's belief system and community.

Lately I've been realizing that there is no "karma". In the real world, the strong feed on the weak. Bullying isn't something that ends when you finish grade school. People like that are everywhere in the real world, especially at shitty jobs that are full of miserable people (that you're stuck with because you grew up in a fucking cult with dysfunctional parents and failed at life because of all of the damage years of neglect and abuse did to you even into adulthood.)

In the real world, I've noticed lots of people don't give a single shit about hurting those weaker than them, and will keep doing it as long as you let them.

I'm angry that I spent so much of my life following these rules and worshipping this god just to have everything destroyed when I left the religion, and nothing to show for my adherence except a life destroyed by abuse and a severely dysfunctional family. Even now I'm scared to "blaspheme" or speak offensively like some of the other people on here.

This is my own personal belief, but after speaking to lots of other people about it, I think that when I worshipped Krishna, I was given some form of spiritual protection, as well as a higher material quality of life, in exchange, and when I stopped, then everything fell apart. It isn't just mental struggles with accepting the difficulties of life without this religion, there are lots of external circumstances in my life that became severely worse after I stopped worshipping Krishna, including what I think is harassment and negative events in my life being caused by malicious spiritual entities (not related to Hindu deities.)

I can't relate to people who have "normal" lives at all. I'm still living in the same squalid, abusive conditions as I did my whole life, as a result of being mentally and financially crippled from a life of abuse and family dysfunction. I've got almost no way of positively coping, I just continue enduring everything. It feels like having an injury without any painkillers to treat it. This cult destroyed my life.

Whenever I think closely about it, everything that went wrong in my life comes down to the fact that I was born in this cult. On top of that, I was born because my mother's "guru" advised her to accept my father's marriage proposal, and here I am now, a destroyed creature.

I think life doesn't make any sense, and is just constantly experiencing fear and suffering. There's no support at all, spiritually or physically. Just confusing torture.

Trigger warning for domestic violence, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse.

Long story short, both my father and aunt have performed "surveillance abuse" on my mother & I for years.

A few years ago my mother told me about multiple incidents where my father was speaking to her and said things multiple times that he should have had no way of knowing because he was not physically present when they happened and she didn't tell him. This has gone on since before I was a teenager and had to temporarily live in a domestic violence shelter with my mother due to the severity of the abuse by my father at one particular time.

She suspects that he has hidden microphones in our house and car, and in recent times he would constantly quote things from private conversations that occured between me and my mother, verbatim, and even now will actually text or call my mother and say something directly related to something she just said to me out loud in the house or car when he is NOT present. He is a very sadistic and foul person.

On top of this, my UNCLE who also lived at my aunt's house mostly alone after being released from prison (she used to have two houses) actually told my mother that he suspects the same thing, but being done by my aunt. He also has described (and I have noticed myself) my aunt's personality as "paranoid". (I understand this may seem ironic when I am claiming that her and my father are the ones spying on US, but please understand my reasoning, I personally believe that it would make sense for a paranoid person who is also malicious to try to spy on others, in a sort of "get them before they get me" kind of mentality.) He said that she would constantly be angry with him and would somehow know whenever he had people over, despite living one town away, and him not leaving any indications of having had people over such as a mess, as well as the fact that he did not tell her that he had anyone over. She also was severely abusive to her own daughters as well, to the point that even my own father commented that she is too harsh to them.

It is incredibly painful to have to "justify" my sanity when speaking about this despite it being a real thing that happens to people. A girl somewhere on reddit (I can't remember which sub) said that her father had a hidden camera in her SHOWER or bathroom, and that he tried to change her bank account passwords, but from what I remember, I think in her case she was actually lucky enough to find evidence and was thus able to take legal action, so she was actually believed and not told that she's crazy. It is so sickening to me that abusers can even put their victims in a position like this, where their victims are seen as crazy for speaking out about something that is being done to them by the abuser.

I was admitted to the psych ward a few months ago for suicidal ideation, and I told the person who was screening me about the domestic abuse I was experiencing, including the parts about the suspected "surveillance abuse". I later found out from a doctor who I was speaking with that she wrote off what I described as "symptoms of psychosis", but he said that when he spoke to my mother about what I described regarding the incidents with my father quoting things from private conversations between my mother and I, that she confirmed it and he believed me because of that. But if my mother wasn't able to be involved and support my claims, I may have just been dismissed. That is what is so frustrating about this form of abuse. That even just talking about it immediately makes the VICTIM be seen as the crazy one, and thus allows the abuser to have even more power over their victim and cause their victim even more suffering.

Not entirely directly related, but my father and aunt are also both members of a cult which is known for having had multiple public scandals for child sexual abuse as well as attracting severely abusive and narcissistic people, as I have learned over the years from hearing stories about the families of other kids whose parents were members of the cult. The cult is known as ISKCON or the "Hare Krishnas". There is a subreddit for former members to share and discuss their stories and experiences, r/exHareKrishna.

Thank you to anyone who read this all of the way.

DISCLAIMER: This post is intended for the people in this sub who actually believe in spiritual phenomena and not the ones who are spiritually sterile and lucky enough to not have to worry about being attacked by malevolent spiritual beings or phenomena. If you think supernatural things are fake, kindly don't bother reading. Thanks.

Do you guys think krishna is a malevolent deity? I read someone on here write that there was a story where allegedly a pujari dropped a statue of krishna and its head broke and he later got beheaded in some foreign country. I also read someone say (though it was on a Christian subreddit) that they got extremely bad luck in multiple areas of their life after they threw out a ganesha statue. I myself also grew up in SHITskcon and had my life completely destroyed after i stopped worshipping krishna. I "coincidentally" started experiencing much worse domestic violence and even got bedbugs from my neighbors which I've had for 3 years now due to my sadistic piece of shit "pure auspicious devotee" father spreading them through our house on purpose.

I heard multiple people say that maybe i lost krishna's protection and/or blessings when i stopped worshipping him, which i was conveniently never explicitly told would happen if i did. it's like if you stopped talking to a friend or relative and they broke into your house and took away every Christmas gift they bought you throughout your entire life or some shit.

I fucking hate gods and religion. I personally think hindu deities are at least partially malevolent. I also heard a few interesting things about hinduism from other sources. I heard that Zoroastrians said that devas are "gods who are only capable of destruction" (ISKCON and india are a very accurate reflection of this if it's true), and that allegedly krishna was actually described as an asura in the rg veda or some other early hindu scripture, and that allegedly Muslims believe that hindus worship djinn. So what are your thoughts? Do you believe hindu entities are malevolent? i do.