Life is life
This is for a specific person. I don't know you really. You seem to know me based on what people tell you I do. Sometimes I will find myself complaining about what another person needs from me. I never complain about the person, just how it ended up at this point requiring time from someone else. You think I'm a selfish person. The things required of me were usually someone else's responsibility in the first place. Those individuals just decided not to push them to do this but since I am free and willing to help people who need it, I am easily employed to the situation. The problem is people wonder why I am this way and it's because I put myself last. Still not complaining about it. Although I have a bad habit of keeping score and figuring out those details. Sure I am wrong all the time but there's an aspect to this where sometimes I am right. I believe what was done was actually the best I could do and I feel it now. Because I'm tired and it made me more selfish at this point in time. Have everyone else freedom and those freedoms came about from my servitude to them because I love them. When people thought it was easy and demeaned my attempts that's when I backed away. Cause it was always about them. So to my love out there I will say. I'm glad you are happy and if that's because you think I am no good. I will let you believe it and ask the things you hate about me now. They are true and it's all that lessens the burden of my own failures with you right now. I am very selfish. I was scared of you because trying to be in control of myself is already difficult. Add you to the mix and now there is even more unpredictability. I'm scared of you and the fact that I'm always the bad guy I will just have to live with that now.