u/Old-Plantain-1020

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately because he overthinks small things and starts thinking I’m being disloyal or cheating when I genuinely am not. A lot of it started over me opening random Snapchat messages from people I don’t even know. I don’t reply to them or entertain them, but he feels like I’m giving other people attention while not giving him enough attention. He says seeing me active on Snapchat without constantly sending him pictures or texts hurts him and makes him suspicious.

It escalated into him questioning a lot of random things I do. For example, I apparently make noises or moan in my sleep sometimes, especially when I’m uncomfortable or half asleep, and he started thinking it sounded sexual or like someone was “doing something” to me. I tried explaining that when I’m half asleep I genuinely don’t remember things I do or say sometimes, including getting up in the middle of the night or even accidentally hanging up the phone once. I told him I’m not lying and I’m not trying to make him feel crazy, I just genuinely don’t remember certain things when I’m barely awake.

He eventually apologized and admitted he jumps to conclusions and overthinks because of jealousy and trust issues, and even mentioned wanting to get back on his meds because he knows it’s becoming unhealthy. I know he loves me and I love him too, but it’s emotionally exhausting constantly feeling like innocent things are being analyzed for “proof” that I’m cheating.

Another thing that’s really hurting me is that he’s told me his family, friends, and even coworkers don’t really like me or have negative opinions about me based on the arguments we have. I’ve been crying a lot because I genuinely try to be kind and loving, and it hurts feeling hated by people who don’t even know me or the depth of our relationship.

I guess I’m asking: how do you support someone who struggles with overthinking and jealousy without losing yourself in the process? And how do you rebuild trust when you feel like every little thing you do gets turned into suspicion?

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately because he overthinks small things and starts thinking I’m being disloyal or cheating when I genuinely am not. A lot of it started over me opening random Snapchat messages from people I don’t even know. I don’t reply to them or entertain them, but he feels like I’m giving other people attention while not giving him enough attention. He says seeing me active on Snapchat without constantly sending him pictures or texts hurts him and makes him suspicious.

It escalated into him questioning a lot of random things I do. For example, I apparently make noises or moan in my sleep sometimes, especially when I’m uncomfortable or half asleep, and he started thinking it sounded sexual or like someone was “doing something” to me. I tried explaining that when I’m half asleep I genuinely don’t remember things I do or say sometimes, including getting up in the middle of the night or even accidentally hanging up the phone once. I told him I’m not lying and I’m not trying to make him feel crazy, I just genuinely don’t remember certain things when I’m barely awake.

He eventually apologized and admitted he jumps to conclusions and overthinks because of jealousy and trust issues, and even mentioned wanting to get back on his meds because he knows it’s becoming unhealthy. I know he loves me and I love him too, but it’s emotionally exhausting constantly feeling like innocent things are being analyzed for “proof” that I’m cheating.

Another thing that’s really hurting me is that he’s told me his family, friends, and even coworkers don’t really like me or have negative opinions about me based on the arguments we have. I’ve been crying a lot because I genuinely try to be kind and loving, and it hurts feeling hated by people who don’t even know me or the depth of our relationship.

I guess I’m asking: how do you support someone who struggles with overthinking and jealousy without losing yourself in the process? And how do you rebuild trust when you feel like every little thing you do gets turned into suspicion?