u/OliSykesFutureWife

Long story short I left my old job 2 weeks ago that I had been with for 2 years for a new one as it was a more interesting product and I was feeling uninspired in my old one. I left on good terms, but was honest in why I was leaving.

I have now started the new job and chaotic is putting it nicely. I started a week early as they really wanted me to come along to a convention, pitching it as a good opportunity for me to meet overseas team mates and get to know the culture.

Instead, on day 2, 3 and 4 of my employment it has been me working 12+ hour days at the convention in the back packing orders. I have also been put on front staff answering extremely in depth questions when I haven’t even done my orientation yet or been up skilled on the company.

The culture is you are not allowed to say no to anything (even if they say ‘up to you!’ And you get a passive aggressive response if you choose the ‘no’ answer). My job role is also different to what was advertised and I was told a team mate was let go after a few months as he ‘hadn’t met his targets’, despite only being with the company a few months!

I have spoken to other employees who said working until midnight is not an anomaly, it is the norm. As is weekend work. As is working while on vacation.

I have realised I made a giant mistake. While my last job was a bit boring, we were encouraged to take the time back when we had to have night meetings with overseas employees and vacation time was respected. The workload was also very manageable and busy periods were only occasionally and not the norm.

Technically I am still employed by the other company and am on annual leave. I also know they can’t backfill the role until next year, so my role is open and I have a good relationship with my team.

Would it be terrible to reach out to my old manager, explain this job wasn’t what I expected and ask for my job back?

Hi fellow Jews,

I’m an Australian female Jew who lives in Bondi (yep, where 15 of my community members were shot in December).

I am by no means religious, but the Jewish culture has always been important to me. Especially since my grandparents on both sides were survivors of the Holocaust. But lately the sharp rise in anti semitism has really been getting to me.

Right after October 7 I was staying up all night, anxious and arguing with people on TikTok. I stopped that because it was only hurting me to argue with people that would use anything as an excuse to hate Jews.

But recently it has become those around me. The other week I found out 2 extreme pro Palestine ‘friends’ of mine were planning a dinner to confront me on my stance on the conflict, because they had convinced themselves that I was pro genocide. All I had ever been was pro-Jewish people existing on this planet. It was only when I invited my boyfriend so I would have an ally that they ended up canceling the dinner because they knew he would not stand for them ganging up on me over something I have no control over and frankly am confused why I would even need to give a statement on behalf of the Jewish people of Australia??

Anyway lately I’ve found myself to be extremely anxious and angry. It feels like the entire globe is gaslighting us and nothing we say is right. If genuinely keeps me up at night and having seen what happened in Bondi recently, some days I fear for my life.

How do you not let this stuff get to you? It’s consuming me and I don’t know what to do

This past week my boyfriend and I have been fighting more than usual and I’ve been seeing an argumentative, unempathetic side that I’ve never seen before.

He told me out of nowhere that if we moved in together, he wanted to get his gun license and store guns in our apartment. I live in Australia, where gun control is high, so this came as a big surprise and I said I didn’t want any guns in my home as I would feel unsafe.

He got pretty angry with this and accused me of preventing him from his hobby that bonded him with his late grandfather. I reiterated again and again that I wasn’t stopping him from going to a shooting range. I just didn’t want guns where I live.

Fast forward to 3 days later and we had left for a pre planned trip with his friends up the coast. During the drive it was raining pretty heavily and he was going 20 over the speed limit. I asked him to please slow down as I was feeling unsafe. He said there was nothing unsafe and he was driving safely. I asked him 2 more times to slow down and he wouldn’t, so I started to cry because I felt so unsafe. He responded, are you crying?! Seriously?! And slammed on the breaks.

I sat in silence for the rest of the journey as I was crying. After an hour he then said, where’s the nearest train station? I’m going to go home, so I started crying more and I said, “I don’t do angry men” and he started saying how he didn’t mean to lose his temper but he said he thought I was stonewalling him and it made him angry. He also said he felt I overreact to things sometimes and at no point did he feel he was putting me into danger.

I said to him just because he doesn’t think something is a big deal doesn’t mean it lands the same with me. Just like with having guns in my home. I told him to practice some empathy. He agreed and said he was sorry, but now I feel like the damage is done.

Is this something to come back from and is just a bad fight, or should I go with my gut on this one and end it?

I’m terrified to as I’m 35 and before him I was single for 6 years and it was hell.

Edit: and to add, it’s 3am and I’m up the coast with him and his friends in my family’s holiday home. I’m not sure what to do next. Do I just leave?

So I (35/f) and my bf (31/m) met 2 years ago as a casual hook up, then were friends for a year, developed romantic feelings for one another and then were both in a position to settle down with one another and become serious.

We truly are best friends and I owe that to the time we had as just friends. We enjoy each other’s company, have each other’s backs and always have a laugh.

However lately we’ve faced issues with how we handle conflict. We actually used to be fairly good about it, but I think now that the stakes are higher given we are serious, it’s brought up more serious topics of conversation around long term expectations and the like.

I suggested we do a one off session with a therapist just to learn tools to communicate as we both react in opposing manners when under stress and he was supportive.

Has anyone had success with seeking an unbiased third party like a couples counselor to help communicate better? I see a lot of doom and gloom around the relationship being doomed once you seek therapy, but I’m a very pragmatic person, so to me it makes sense to seek the tools before it becomes a concrete issue.

Hi ladies,
I’m 35/f and lately feel like I’ve really struggled to maintain friendships.

I’ve been single for the last 6 years and recently got into a relationship. I thought having a boyfriend would solve that lonely feeling, but it hasn’t.

I still talk to my friends from school sometimes, but it’s always me reaching out as they’re busy with their husbands and kids. Outside of them I’ve tried to make new friendships, but they’ve never lasted.

When I was in my 20s and early 30s I always had a lot going on with different friends and rarely felt lonely. Now it feels like connection is incredibly hard to maintain when I meet new people and I can’t tell if this is a post-Covid reality, an age thing or just a me thing.

Hi all,

I froze my eggs just over a year ago. Prior to, my periods weren't best in show, but they were OK with regularity. Probably every 32-35 days.

I had a very successful egg freezing cycle, retrieving 21 eggs, 19 mature. However since my baseline estrogen was high, I was bordering on high estrogen the entire process and was closely monitored during my very gentle stimulation. Post-freezing I also had a pretty profuse bleed that thankfully stopped before I had to go to the ED.

Anyway since I froze my eggs, I've noticed that my hormones are worse than ever. My cycle is now every 40ish days (if at all), I am hot most nights, my energy is awful, my testosterone is right at the top of normal and I've been put on cabergoline to bring down my elevated prolactin (I took this about a decade ago and it restored my periods to every 28 days on the dot).

I had a blood test and outside of the prolactin and testosterone, everything else was fine.

Did anyone else find they had the same and you never truly returned back to your normal cycle?

My bf is a notoriously bad texter. He always says he prefers phone calls as he gets distracted and forgets to reply to texts all the time. I hate phone calls, however I’ve compromised to phone calls as I would prefer a quick check in on the phone than getting irritated when he forgets to respond to my messages. He used to forget to call me all the time when he said he would as well.

He’s definitely gotten better, but occasionally he will tell me he will definitely call me before bed, but doesn’t. And then never mentions it unless I bring it up.

I tried to be cool about it at first, but I eventually brought it up as I would never forget to call him when I’ve told him I would as he is a priority for me. His reasoning is the same every time. “Im sorry forgot. Im not intentionally ignoring you.”

I also feel like it’s one rule for him and one for me, because if I don’t answer his calls he will keep trying until I answer and is like, “what happened to you???” But it’s OK for him to just ‘forget’ to call.

I have a chip on my shoulder that I’m working on in therapy around being forgotten. I have an emotionally avoidant dad and narcissistic mum and was uncool in school, so I’ve always felt invisible. He knows this and knows how important promises and follow throughs are to me, so each time this happens, it scratches at that wound.

They say love is supposed to be healing, but I feel it’s doing the opposite since he’s reinforcing a core wound of mine.

Am I wrong to feel this way?

My bf is a notoriously bad texter. He always says he prefers phone calls as he gets distracted and forgets to reply to texts all the time. I hate phone calls, however I’ve compromised to phone calls as I would prefer a quick check in on the phone than getting irritated when he forgets to respond to my messages. He used to forget to call me all the time when he said he would as well.

He’s definitely gotten better, but occasionally he will tell me he will definitely call me before bed, but doesn’t. And then never mentions it unless I bring it up.

I tried to be cool about it at first, but I eventually brought it up as I would never forget to call him when I’ve told him I would as he is a priority for me. His reasoning is the same every time. “Im sorry forgot. Im not intentionally ignoring you.”

I also feel like it’s one rule for him and one for me, because if I don’t answer his calls he will keep trying until I answer and is like, “what happened to you???” But it’s OK for him to just ‘forget’ to call.

I have a chip on my shoulder that I’m working on in therapy around being forgotten. I have an emotionally avoidant dad and narcissistic mum and was uncool in school, so I’ve always felt invisible. He knows this and knows how important promises and follow throughs are to me, so each time this happens, it scratches at that wound.

They say love is supposed to be healing, but I feel it’s doing the opposite since he’s reinforcing a core wound of mine.

Am I warranted to feel this way?

TL:DR; bf forgets to call me and it’s really starting to weigh on me

Long story short I met J 1.5 years ago on a hook up site. We were FWB for a little while, of which I never saw going anywhere coz of the age gap.

Anyway things developed on their own and we both caught feelings. However J had just moved to my country and had 0 intention of a relationship anytime soon. While there were feelings between us, his avoidant side was clearly coming out. Despite the nice times, he was inconsistent and up and down and it made me anxious. I confronted him one day about it and He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and he would only be getting in to one not to lose me and wasn’t ready to settle down, so we called it.

We ended up staying distant friends until about almost a year later things kicked up again. I got frustrated because it felt like we were ending up in situationship territory again and I didn’t want to go there. He said he loved me and didn’t want to be with anybody else and wanted to work on his issues with intimacy as losing me scared him far more than confronting his issues.

From that moment on he has been the exact bf I always wanted. He has been consistent, taken me out on dates, is clear with where I stand, supports me, has my back and clearly is very serious about me. Except now that I’ve spent proper time in this dynamic, I just don’t know whether I’m spotting incompatibilities or if I just can’t let go of my resentment that it took him so long to come around to this.

The things that really bother me outside of the resentment are issues like his complacency. He has needed to go to the dr for months about a serious issue and just hasn’t. He enrolled in therapy and went once and never again. He says he wants to restart the gym, goes once and never does again.

He is also fairly averse to touch and only now holds my hand coz I said it upset me that he didn’t. He goes weeks without kissing me and almost stiffens up when I kiss him. We don’t even sleep in the same room when he sleeps over coz his snoring is so bad that he sleeps on the couch. He also has stayed at my house every night for the past few weeks and anytime I ask him to go home for a bit, he does a big guilt trip and I feel guilty and don’t bring it up again.

When I bring these things he always courts corrects, but it just builds my resentment even more that he seems to only do things as a response to what I confront him about.

I hate myself for being resentful of the whole situation as this time last year I would have been thrilled for this outcome. I’m also aware of my age and know how bad the dating scene is, so a part of me is wondering whether it’s just a ‘grass is greener’ mindset, or this just isn’t it. I really don’t know.

TL:DR; situationship turned bf and now it feels like it’s too little, too late?

Hi all,

I'm 35 years old and currently work in Marketing in Australia. I have almost 12 years experience in my job and am in desperate need of a career pivot.

Back in 2013 I actually got in to a Bachelor of Nutrition and Dietetics course at the uni of Newcastle, but pursued a Masters in Advertising instead. Now that I'm fairly far in my career, I've realised this is just not my end job. I've always had a passion for nutrition and health (especially as someone with PCOS), so I'm keen to make a big move.

My plan is to do the 2 pre-requisites required as night courses whilst I continue working full time and then look at options on how I could do this alongside my job for as long as possible.

I suppose my question is...has anyone else done this? I remember a 'mature age student' in Australia is defined as someone 25+, but I'm well beyond that, so I'm wondering if this is a silly move or not. I feel my marketing background could be my competitive edge when marketing my services, but I'm also conscious that I'll be over 40 when I would be a fully qualified Dietitian :')

Hi all,

I'm 35 years old and currently work in Marketing in Australia. I have almost 12 years experience in my job and am in desperate need of a career pivot.

Back in 2013 I actually got in to a Bachelor of Nutrition and Dietetics course at the uni of Newcastle, but pursued a Masters in Advertising instead. Now that I'm fairly far in my career, I've realised this is just not my end job. I've always had a passion for nutrition and health (especially as someone with PCOS), so I'm keen to make a big move.

My plan is to do the 2 pre-requisites required as night courses whilst I continue working full time and then look at options on how I could do this alongside my job for as long as possible.

I suppose my question is...has anyone else done this? I remember a 'mature age student' in Australia is defined as someone 25+, but I'm well beyond that, so I'm wondering if this is a silly move or not. I feel my marketing background could be my competitive edge when marketing my services, but I'm also conscious that I'll be over 40 when I would be a fully qualified Dietitian :')