u/OneMidnight121

These are part of a series of posts I hope to make on staying safe, by bringing specific tactics out into the light and defining them clearly. The abuse tactic can be summarized as the following:

Attaching labels to titles that serve to justify any abusive behavior preemptively through implication.

Examples:

My ex-boyfriend vs my “abusive” ex-boyfriend

My mother vs my “abusive” mother

My friend vs my “toxic” friend

My teacher vs my “predator” teacher

These prevent any question, doubt, or culpability by implying they were the victim. It also controls the narrative in a very compact and efficient way. Also allows them to create “sides”.

How to defend against it:

-Do not react

-Don’t engage

-Collect evidence

-Stick to specifics, details, and literal descriptions

-Ask for specifics

-Remember that the point isn’t always direct communication, often the point is to control a situation

Remember, one of the core strategies of bpd abuse is to use figurative speech to control peoples interpretations. Speaking literally, and factually, is one of the strongest ways you can defend yourself. And remember, always keep receipts.

I had two cones. The first one exploded in my hand. The second one fell off when I licked it. I really wanted that ice cream. I didn’t know life as a New Yorker was so hard.