pretty much js the title. I dont feel like I've really grown up I guess. next to other men I just feel like I look so much younger and I'm harder to take seriously in general. it's hard to find clothes that fit me properly too idk I just feel like a little boy playing dress up when i do anything.
I want to feel cool and powerful but I'm below 5'7 so I mean nevermind I guess.
does anyone understand
bro im so tired of being short and whining about it feels worse but im so bothered
i(16 M) was always one of the tall ones growing up but around grade 6 i js Stopped and everyone kept going- im still technically growing but it slowed so much lmao why me
my dad is 6'0 my mom is 5'10 i had *high* (heh.) hopes of being tall since typically each gen is a bit taller than the last, i was arrogant enough to think id make it over six foot haha now id be grateful for 5'9
but im 5'5. girls don't look at me. my self worth is in the gutter. literally wherever I go everyone towers over me. im so tired dawg. idk not trynna harp on or whatever but had to get ts off my chest
i know i am still growing so maybe there is hope but based off of my growth rate i don't think im breaking 5'8 fml. maybe it'd be less hard to deal with if i had anything else going for me but im definitely not a looker and my eating disorder makes fitness really challenging, not that it's an excuse or anything
I don't really know what im trying to say idk js tell me how to feel good abt myself again pls
(edit: i wear platforms sometimes but theyre not good to wear everyday esp for growing feet)
what could i(16 M) do to dress goth because I don't and id like to, i am goth and i want to dress as such. i usually wear jeans, heavy chains, band shirts, and i always wear this big leather jacket. im very limited in the hair jewelry and makeup departments because im a pre t trans man and i'll get my shit clocked instantly if i put on ANY kinda makeup or do really anything w my hair even colour </3 dont even get me started on necklaces- bracelets and rings are a no go bc i have arms and hands covered with thick sleeves and leather gloves THEY ARE FEMININE KILL ME
i also always cover my face with horror masks and shit because its ugly and and it pmo i dont fucking like him(edit. if you. have any other ideas on how to cover up entire face in a somewhat affordable and comfortable way i would. like to know..)
i also tear clothes up and paint them to look cool and old and wear them idk- and layers lots of layers WHAT MORE CAN I DO HELP ME NONE OF TS IS GOTH I FEEL LIKE A DIRTY LITTLE POSER
Recently I've been doing things to feel more comfortable in my skin and often the most outlandish measures are the most effective.
Firstly, I am not a tall man, so I purchased a pair of sturdy platforms. Now I believe I'm an acceptable height and I get much gender euphoria from not being short anymore.
I've stopped talking entirely in public. That may seem dramatic, but I've never been a fan of speaking(I have a horrible stutter and it's overall not fun for me) and my voice gave me away to some extent so that was an easy fix.
But none of those are odd.
One large problem remained, however. My face. It does not look how I want it to, very unmanly. I don't like it. Sure, there's maybe more "normal" ways to conceal ones face than what I went with. I just find them unpractical. A face mask and sunglasses look pretty dorky and the glasses fog up, impairing vision. A motorcycle helmet is a bit out of my price range and I don’t drive a motorcycle.
So when I quickly run errands or when I'm bussing to and from a location, I wear a jason mask. That sounds insane let me elaborate-
I do dress fairly weirdly, I'm alternative and present as such, so most people assume I'm wearing some kind of costume with the mask, in cosplay on my way to a con or something, it attracts less attention than you'd think. And obviously I don't wear it to actual events or school or anything. Just in situations where appearance doesn't matter that much, it's a little thing that makes me feel better.
I want to know if I'm not alone in my strangeness. Have any of you done something weird to ease your dysphoria?