In-laws in 1-bedroom apartment
I am a non-Indian American girl and my fiancé is an American-born and raised Indian guy. We live together in a 1-bedroom apartment on a major US city and are supposed to get married in the spring. The only thing we have ever seriously argued about is hosting his family in our 1-bedroom apartment.
I'm wondering if it is going to destroy our relationship.
My fiancé is very keen to host family and has always stated that it is important for him. I like his family and am happy to spend time with them, but our apartment is not huge, and extended stays are a lot of work. I am an introvert and value my sense of peace and quiet in the evenings after work. When his family visits, I am constantly cooking, cleaning, or entertaining, and there's no down time.
We had a huge argument a couple months ago and came to the compromise that we could host his family for up to 10 days at a time (historically they have stayed for a month).
For his parents' next visit, I told my fiancé that I might go to visit my own parents in a different state for the second half of his parents stay. I would use the excuse that it's Thanksgiving week and I want to spend time with my own family. He said this would be interpreted as rude and cause a rift with his parents. He got super angry with me. He is never like this and I don't know what to do.
I feel like I have no freedom to do what I want and am worried it will only get worse. I am sad I gave up the freedom I had before. When we started dating, I was living alone in my own apartment I paid for and I worked very hard to gain that independence.
For context, I get along very well with his parents and they've been very accepting of me generally. They seem genuinely happy that I am in a relationship with their son. My issue is not with them, but with the expectations around hosting them, and my fiancé's own inability to acknowledge my discomfort in hosting them for extended periods of time.
I've also explained to him that I would be delighted to host his family for an extended period of time once we have a bigger house/apartment. The current apartment is just too small for hosting extended period of time.
I know this issue is a small one compared to some others I've read about in this subreddit but it's genuinely the only time I've had a major fight with my fiancé and I'm worried as we are supposed to get married in the spring. His lack of understanding and his anger concerns me. I'm also starting to question what our relationship looks like in 10 or 20 years once we have kids - will it always be his parents over me?