u/OnyxAlyx

I made the incredibly bold decision to wear my hair in a styled bun for work today. Usually I rock a half up half down, or a messy pony tail, or a lazy bun (messy pony tail plus one bonus flip 'n' tuck).

I started this ahead of time, with my pre-shower messy bun. After I hopped out of the shower, I did a styled ponytail with the quick flip to keep it off my shoulders. I kinda liked the feel of no hair on my shoulders, and felt emboldened to go into the styled bun. But I was also running late for work. I threw my clothes on, directed my child (14) to brush his teeth, and chugged the rest of my coffee. I looked at my pink hair tie, and decided to leave her at home because I had to live this Black Dress Code life. Plus my pop of color today was my Ursula socks. Fuck this wardrobe analysis is probably why I stay late.

"Let's go, Dy'lan!" I say to my boy, as he is groggily meandering towards the front door. Yes, I named him after the rapper. Yes that rapper, STFU. We hop in the car and I direct him to text Mimi to say we are en route. He decides to take over my phone and be the YouTube DJ. By the time we make it to Mimi's church, I see her in her usher uniform at the door. We made it before service started. Hallelujah!

Dy'lan and I sprint up the stairs. Mimi opens the door for her grandbaby and then motions for me. "Ma, what? I gotta work!" She fixes my shirt collar. "Bye, love you!" I race back down the stairs to my car, waving at Mrs Daly as she walks up the stairs. "G'mornin!"

I finally make it to work. I have ten minutes to clock in. It's hair magic time. I spend 5 minutes rearranging my hair in the pony tail without taking out the hair tie. I artfully twist my hair, and see my trusty giant black hair tie on the shifter. God is good, eh? After the hair is secured, I admire my work. Two minutes left. Yus.

Y'all my hair is touching the ceiling of my car. I drive an SUV and I'm 6' short so I generally can lightly angle my head. I'm gonna have to maneuver my neck and 3-5 vertebrae to get out of this car without messing my hair up.

I see you, Marge. And I understand you. 😂😂😂😂

My biggest stuffie (6' tall), named Greenville! He is a very handsome octopus. Everyone in my family jokes that he is my husband, and then they try to steal him to cuddle him. Don't tell him that he's my favorite 😂

Today we are sharing the Pixie Dust "Donut Shop" cart in a rainbow Cartisan pen, because sharing is caring. We are cuddling while watching old school King of the Hill before jumping into the new season!

Two rounds of baking soda and apple cider vinegar (first roots, second mids/ends), one round of super diluted ACV in the shower, lots and lots of rinsing, then tea tree shampoo (for maximum radiance!), and finally my "regular" coconut shampoo and conditioner. Towel dried, then air dried in front of an oscillating fan.

I feel ethereal!!! 🤩 Is this self care? 🫴🏾🦋

The mini me convinced me to go to the store and we just went crazy on sushi, cocktail shrimp, ramune, and ramen (it's off to the side).

A pangolin, a polar bear, and a toaster walk into a vape shop

The polar bear says "this is the most hilarious coworker outing I've been on in a while!" 🤣

Talked about spirituality lots today, and then I found Jamal (orange sash) and Buddy (red sash) in my bag. Definitely a sign. 🤣

The esteemed Tom Nook, sharing his highly protected break time smoking with me‽ Heck yes! (And this octopus lad behind him is really handsome! 😅)

My boyfriend's kids LOVED firing up the switch and running through my damned flowers. I don't miss that boyfriend, but I do miss his hilarious kiddos.

Sharing is caring, and I digitally share because I digitally care! 😘

It's Saturday so you know what that means! It's Hair Day 😂 starring my daughter (13F) as the girl with the curl, and myself (42NB) as the chatty at-home hairdresser! She has already made the "cloud bob" joke at least 4 times 🙄 but I'll take her sitting still in the chair at 13 over trying to hold her little wiggly self to get her hair sectioned and twisted at 3 🥹

Give me your funniest at-home hairdresser stories!! 🤩😂