u/Open_Willingness_488

i was being bullied for being trans in roblox and someone dressed as papyrus speaking in a papyrus voice said “HUMAN!! YOU ARE VALID AND YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF” and it made me so happy and now i think of papyrus whenever i’m sad. thank you papyrus. 🥹

I used to be terrible, throwing tantrums every day. I hated everyone, I hated myself, mostly my younger sister. I didn't want it to be that way, but I did it anyway. I even ran away at one point, but my family went after me. My mom sometimes will bring it back up to remind me how much I've grown but it still makes me uncomfortable even hearing about it at all.

I got better, but I was a nuisance to my sister still I constantly harassed and annoyed her and it drove her nuts. I remember occasionally crying to make her feel bad for being annoyed at me. I still hated myself, and I didn't want to be like that but I still did it. At times l even had meltdowns because I "didn't want to annoy her anymore", and I "just wanted to be a better person" but I continued to do the same thing I hated. I think it was when my sister ran away I really realized i needed to make a change or else I would never forgive myself. I would have hated myself so much if her only memory of me was being annoying and manipulative

Since then, me and my sister have grown really close. We tell each other everything and we have things I don't with nobody else. We rant to each other. But, i think because of that i might be falling into the same trap and im scared. I was joking around with her thinking we were having fun but then she told me to stop and she didn't wan to joke around right now. I did stop, but i later went to my room and cried because i felt so bad. I don't want to be the annoying brother again. I thought i went past that and i feel like ive been annoying her more recently and i hate it i don't want it to be like this. And im worried that if I'm going back to that then what if i go back to when i was really terrible and the thought terrifies me genuinely so much.
We are supposed to be best friends. We're supposed to in a future famous band, we're supposed to go to the mall one day and go clothes shopping for me i don't wanna loose the only person keeping me sane lately

I guess i still hate myself

I was joking about the blue man group and i said im gonna get my family blue man group tickets with reddit karma and they are doubting my power. They think i cant do it please someone i need it so i can rub it in there face