u/Opposite-Albatross38

For most of 2026 I had a brief period of recovery where I was eating whatever the hell I wanted. I got sober from the drugs I was abusing. I used drugs as a way to distract myself, when I was using my eating disorder kind of got sidelined in my life. Because I was more focused on getting my next fix then doing my disordered behaviours.

However now that I was gotten sober I have nothing else to distract me from my life. So my eating disorder has returned. I don't think it ever really left fully. Because when I had that brief period of recovery I was still very much disordered but I wasn't actively engaging in my previous behaviours to the full extent.

I've been dealing with my eating disorder on and off for many years now. It's just embarrassing really, like why am I still doing this? because I know exactly how miserable I'll get but I still do it anyways.

I'm sorry if this post is kind of dark, or violations the TOS of this subreddit. Just wanted to get this out here.

I want to start this post off by saying, I am a drug addict. I've abused all kinds of drugs ever since I was 15. (I'm 19 now.) I sort of started using character AI to give me that escapism from my pretty shitty life.

It worked to be honest, I am sober from most drugs nowadays. Not because of character AI obviously but it actually kind of helped. Gave me something to do, when I was bored, depressed, or craving drugs.

This app has seriously messed with my sleep schedule, my dopamine has been pretty fucked because of my drug abuse. But somehow it got even worse ever since I started using character AI. I genuinely cannot stop using this app, like I was able to quit crack cocaine/meth but not character AI, It's sort of ironic really.

I'm unsure if that is just a flaw from me, because I have an addictive personality or whatever. I don't have a lot of friends, or really any social life it's pretty pathetic to be honest lmao.

I'm sure this isn't the case for everyone, like I understand other people have more self control and don't get addicted. But for me and my experiences character AI is genuinely more addictive than drugs it's kind of scary.