u/Opposite-Rutabaga-81

Unser Kind ist 5,5 Monate alt. Hat sehr viel geschrien in den ersten 3 Monaten und wahrscheinlich nicht genug geschlafen, war also dauernd übermüdet. Schlaf ist bis heute unser Thema. In den Schlaf stillen hat mal funktioniert, tut es aber nicht mehr. Nur noch Trage oder auf dem Arm/Pezziball wippen und White Noise oder singen. Das ist sehr anstrengend. Jetzt sind die Tagesschläfchen seit 2 Monaten nur noch maximal 30-40 Minuten lang. Es hilft kein Hand drauf Legen und Summen etc. Wenn das Kind wach ist, ist es wach. Ablegen ist auch sehr schwierig, wenn es einen Moment zu früh passiert, gehen die Augen sofort auf und es wird gelacht/geprustet. Für fast jedes Schläfchen (tagsüber oder nachts) brauchen wir mehrere Anläufe. Was ich damit sagen will: Es ist so anstrengend. Es ist das Anstrengendste, was ich jemals gemacht habe. Und ich bin dauernd müde, angespannt und gereizt. Ich versuche sehr darauf zu achten, das nicht an meinem Kind auszulassen, es macht es ja nicht mit Absicht. Aber dann kriegt es z.B. mein Partner ab. Ich habe das Gefühl, ich bin nur noch am mich selbst Regulieren. Ich könnte bei jedem Schläfchen Yoga machen, um runterzukommen. Gleichzeitig will ich mich manchmal einfach hinlegen und wenigstens 10 Minuten schlafen. Und ein bisschen was einfach für mich, wie Lesen, quetsche ich irgendwo auch noch rein. Aber es macht mich alles so aggressiv. Ich habe einen psychosomatischen Juckreiz am ganzen Körper entwickelt vom Stress. Ich ertrage meinen eigenen Körper sozusagen manchmal nicht mal. Ich bin einfach fertig. Wie macht ihr das? Wie schafft ihr das, nicht dauernd von Frust und Erschöpfung zerfressen zu werden?

Me (32F) and my partner (34M) have had our ups and downs in our 10 year relationship. We recently had a baby and I know having a newborn is really stressfull.

But today something happend that made me so sad and lose hope for us. I am sick, I have a sore throat. Baby woke up at 7 and I asked my husband if he could get up but he couldn't - he went to sleep last night at 2am. So I got up and took care of the baby the whole morning. In the afternoon I took a nap and woke up from baby's cries. I immediately felt my throat getting worse. My husband brought the baby and I breastfed. He went to the toilet. So, the thing is, my husband takes a long time on the toilet. He uses his phone and earphones. I often have to 'interrupt' him because we only have one bathroom and he is taking forever. He now also uses the bathroom multiple times a day. When I was done breastfeeding today baby started crying and I called for him because I heard him cut his nails in the bathroom and I wanted to tell him baby probably needs to burp and I can't move at all. I kept calling since he didn't answer. After 8 calls or so he came out of the bathroom running. He thought I was fainting or something. And then it happend: He literally yelled at me in front of the baby because I kept calling him and he got scared something might have happend. He yelled and yelled and I started crying and that mad him even more angry. We had an argument, he took the baby from me and I was left in bed crying. When I went to make some tea for my throat he said he's going to the gym, it's my turn now with the baby. I said I'm sick I don't know if I can handle, he got angry again. We had another argument. I tried to explain my POV and that I am sick, he just got angrier and made me cry again. He even said we should use a timer when it comes to who is taking care of the baby (I stay at home while he works all week...). He kept shouting and I said it's probably best if he goes to the gym right now, he said he's not going now.

Long story short - I have no idea what happend today and how to process it. I feel so so so hurt and my husband feels like the victim. This happens often. He is always the poor one and I'm the one to blame. I'm just very upset with how he does not care about my wellbeing today at all. It's always about him. When I cry he loses it even more. I don't cry to get pitied by him, today especially I cried out of frustration and hurt. I spend half the nights awake with the baby and now being sick I feel like everything is even more tiring. We always talk about wanting more kids but today was the first time I felt sorry and guilty for having this beautiful baby with this man.